[General] checking of another three sentences

[vil]

Dear teachers,

Would you be kind enough to revise the following three sentences?

And yet this garden my father rented, was the only source of our existence. I remember the heady aroma of apples collected for sale… I remember my father’s face, loving look of my mother, children games with my brothers.

Thank you for your efforts.

Regards,

V.

 

[2006]

Dear teachers,

Would you be kind enough to revise the following three sentences?

And yet this garden my father rented was the only source of our existence. Remove the comma after "rented".
I remember the heady aroma of apples collected for sale. :tick:
I remember my father’s face, the loving look of my mother, and children's games with my brothers.

Thank you for your efforts.

Regards,

V.

2006