[General] checking of four sentences

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vil

Key Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Bulgarian
Home Country
Bulgaria
Current Location
Bulgaria
Dear teachers,

Would you be kind enough to edit the following four sentences?

It is way to imagine yourself the impression these words, pronouncing in such a thunderous voice, rendered on a nervous, mystically and exalted boy. It was like a flash of lighting and a clap of thunder. I felt to the ground nd lost conscious…

When I came to me I saw my father and mother bent over me asking a blessing.

Thank you for your efforts.

Regards,

V.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Dear teachers,

Would you be kind enough to edit the following four sentences?

It is way to imagine yourself the impression these words, pronouncing in such a thunderous voice, rendered on a nervous, mystically and exalted boy. I'm afraid I can't make any sense of this sentence at all!

It was like a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder. I fell to the ground and lost consciousness

When I came to, [STRIKE]me[/STRIKE] I saw my father and mother bent over me asking a blessing.

Thank you for your efforts.

Regards,

V.

See above.
 
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