[Grammar] collaborative learning, knowledge sharing and gradually developing technical skills.

ambitious-girl

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Is the parallel structure used correctly here?

Building strong and long-lasting work relationships may lead to collaborative learning, knowledge sharing and gradually developing both professional and technical skills.
 
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Lynxear

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The only part of the sentence that I do not like is "gradually developing". Think about how you could improve that section of the sentence and post an answer. I know how I would change it, but I want you to try to figure it out first.
 

ambitious-girl

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Thanks Lynxear. I greatly appreciate your help.

I was not sure if there was something wrong with vocabulary or structure. However, I was trying to make following changes:


Building strong and long-lasting work relationships may lead to collaborative learning, knowledge sharing and both professional and technical development.
 
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probus

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Is the parallel structure used correctly here?

Building strong and long-lasting work relationships may lead to collaborative learning, knowledge sharing and gradually developing both professional and technical skills.

It is all perfect. I couldn't have said it better myself.
 

Lynxear

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Thanks Lynxear. I greatly appreciate your help.

I was not sure if there was something wrong with vocabulary or structure. However, I was trying to make following changes:


Building strong and long-lasting work relationships may lead to collaborative learning, knowledge sharing and both professional and technical development.

As Probus has mentioned the sentence is a pretty good sentence as you first wrote it. This last one is not as good.

I just felt that there was a stumbling block in the use of "gradually developing". It was not in the same rhythm as the previous two phrases.

I suppose it is the use of "gradually" that breaks that rhythm. It is a very small point and on second reflection, it is not important. I don't think I would change your first sentence at all. Sorry for confusing you here.
 

Lynxear

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Thanks Piscean. You actually posted the sentence I had in mind when I first commented on her sentence.

Building strong and long-lasting work relationships may lead to collaborative learning, knowledge sharing and the gradual development of both professional and technical skills.

Then I was wondering to myself if I was destroying the parallelism through that change. Your second sentence by positioning the adverb after "developing" solves that problem completely.

I also considered rewriting the sentence this way:

Building strong and long-lasting work relationships may lead to collaborative learning and knowledge sharing, resulting in the gradual development of both professional and technical skills.

I was wondering about your views on this last sentence.

I must say I am impressed with ambitious-girl's sentences of late. They are getting more and more complex as well as getting more interesting to read.

 

Lynxear

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Yes, I see that. It makes the latter dependent on the former, whereas in the original sentence all happens continuously.
 

ambitious-girl

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Thanks Lynxear, Porbus and Piscean. Now I have four amazing sentences that are perfectly paralleled.
Thanks for all your valuable work here.

I suppose it is the use of "gradually" that breaks that rhythm. It is a very small point and on second reflection, it is not important. I don't think I would change your first sentence at all. Sorry for confusing you here.

Lynxear, That's really OK. You could only post "yes" or "no" without trying to make me think more and to encourage me to add more symmetries and style to my sentence. However, If you did that, I would still appreciate it. You are volunteer helpers. I know how difficult it is to follow someone's posts in this Forum where there are too many threads ever day. But you do that. You and all people in this forum put your valuable time and part of your life to make us learn more for FREE. You and all teachers are such great help to us. I have to say that I really LOVE English language. I enjoy learning even a new word or a new grammar rule. This makes me feel super-excited, and you all sparked my interest in this language more than ever. I have never had a native English teacher. Now I have many. This makes me feel really happy. Every day, when I wake up, I first connect to the Internet and then check this forum. You all are really important to me.
God bless you.
 
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Lynxear

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Thanks Lynxear, Porbus and Piscean. Now I have four amazing sentences that are perfectly paralleled.
Thanks for all your valuable work here.



Lynxear, That's really OK. You could only post "yes" or "no" without trying to make me think more and to encourage me to add more [STRIKE]symmetries[/STRIKE] symmetry and style to my sentence. However, [STRIKE]If[/STRIKE] even if you did that, I would still appreciate it. You are volunteer helpers. I know how difficult it is to follow someone's posts in this Forum where there are [STRIKE]too[/STRIKE] so many threads ever day. But you do that. You and all people in this forum put your valuable time and part of your life to make us learn more for FREE. You and all teachers are such great help to us. I have to say that I really LOVE English language. I enjoy learning even a new word or a new grammar rule. This makes me feel super-excited, and you all have sparked my interest in this language more than ever. I have never had a native English teacher[STRIKE]. Now[/STRIKE], now I have many. This makes me feel really happy. Every day, when I wake up, I first connect to the Internet and then check this forum. You all are really important to me.
God bless you.

You are welcome.
 
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