complaint letter

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abrilsp

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Hi :)

Can I have some feedback with the paragraphs below?

"I would like to express my concern about the cleanliness of the place in both swimming pool and changing rooms. I visited your centre the 7th of December, but it is something I have noticed for some time.
The swimming pool in the deep end corners there was a great amount of sand. Regarding the general condition of the changing room was dreadful; in the floors were chewing gums which seemed to have been there for a while, the wall of the cubicles were really dirty, there were papers on the floors, the ceiling was damped and there were bugs flying over the cubicles. I found the facilities far below from what it is expected from a place which aimed are healthy activities. I should mention that the state of the place did not seem to be due to a possible temporary problem with the cleaning staff; it looked as it had been going on for a while.
At present I am not a membership but as I live in the area I would be interested in so. However I would not consider it unless the general maintenance of the centre improves."

Thanks a lot

abrilsp
 

RonBee

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I'll make some suggestions.

abrilsp said:
I would like to express my concern about the cleanliness of the place in both swimming pool and changing rooms. I visited your centre the 7th of December, but it is something I have noticed for some time.

  • I would like to express my concern about the cleanliness of the place in both the swimming pool and the changing rooms. I last visited your centre on the 7th of December, but it is something I have noticed for some time.

abrilsp said:
The swimming pool in the deep end corners there was a great amount of sand. Regarding the general condition of the changing room was dreadful; in the floors were chewing gums which seemed to have been there for a while, the wall of the cubicles were really dirty, there were papers on the floors, the ceiling was damped and there were bugs flying over the cubicles.

  • In the corners in the deep end of the swimming pool there was a great deal of (or large amount of) sand. The general condition of the changing room was dreadful. On the floors was chewing gum which seemed to have been there for a while. The walls of the cubicles were really dirty. There was a large amount of paper on the floor. The ceiling was damp, and there were bugs flying around in the cublcles.

abrilsp said:
I found the facilities far below from what it is expected from a place which aimed are healthy activities. I should mention that the state of the place did not seem to be due to a possible temporary problem with the cleaning staff; it looked as it had been going on for a while. At present I am not a membership but as I live in the area I would be interested in so. However I would not consider it unless the general maintenance of the centre improves.

  • I found the facilities far below what should be expected from a place devoted to healthful recreation. I should mention that the state of the place did not seem to be due to a possible temporary problem with the cleaning staff; it looked as it had been going on for a while.At present I am not a member, but as I live in the area I might be interested in joining. However, I will not consider doing so until the general maintenance of the centre improves.

What do you think?

:)
 
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