complex sentences

[Anonymous]

Please edit the following sentences :

1. They also introduced me to your former prime minister and a few other cabinet ministers from the various ministeries and they well all extremely supportive of this entrepreneurship.

2. By travelling and competing , you can learn how to socialise and mix with people.

3. A lot basically boils down to how serious you want to achieve something.
4. Learning to focus also comes with a bit of discipline as well.

5. There is a sport robotics workshop or there is a robotics workshop ?
( which one is correct )

6. When you are playing in a tournament or when you are playing for a tournament. Which sentence is correct ?

7. Based on your experiences, what can you tell youngsters who have hopes and ambitions in sports and studies and who want to do as well as you ?

8. Everyone played a role in helping me to reach where I am today or Everyone has played a role in helping me to reach to what I am today.

 

[MikeNewYork]

1. They also introduced me to your former prime minister and a few other cabinet ministers from the various ministeries and they well all extremely supportive of this entrepreneurship.

They also introduced me to your former prime minister and a few other cabinet ministers from the various ministeries and they were all extremely supportive of this entrepreneurship.

The two "theys" might be confusing. if so, you can change the beginning to the passive voice. I was also introduced to your.... I'm also not sure about your use of "entrepreneurship". A simpler word, such as project or venture might work there.

2. By travelling and competing , you can learn how to socialise and mix with people.

I don't get the sense of this sentence. Traveling and competing don't seem to go together very well.

3. A lot basically boils down to how serious you want to achieve something.

A lot (basically) boils down to how seriously you want to achieve something. (I don't think basically adds anything.)

4. Learning to focus also comes with a bit of discipline as well.

Learning to focus requires a bit of discipline as well.

5. There is a sport robotics workshop or there is a robotics workshop ?
( which one is correct )

It could be either. Is there such a thing as "sport robotics"?

6. When you are playing in a tournament or when you are playing for a tournament. Which sentence is correct ?

Neither is a sentence. The clause is correct with "in".

7. Based on your experiences, what can you tell youngsters who have hopes and ambitions in sports and studies and who want to do as well as you ?

It's OK, but I might change "studies" to "academics".

8. Everyone played a role in helping me to reach where I am today or Everyone has played a role in helping me to reach to what I am today.

Everyone played a role in helping me get to where I am today

 

[RonBee]

Good job, Mike!

 

[MikeNewYork]

Good job, Mike!

Thanks, Ron. :wink: