correction requested

[moonjiang]

Human Resources Department
Phillips International, Inc.
7811 Montrose Road
Potomac, MD 20854

Dear Sir:
I am graduating from Shanghai University next year and my major is international economics and trade. In the past several years, I have had a good knowledge of basic principle in international trade. I have learned to focus on national economics and international economics through developing view.
During my study, I am active and positive in learning so I was awarded scholarship. I am honest, keeping promise, upright, and optimistic. I have sense of collective honor. Therefore, I am a person with social responsibility.
I would like to work in Philips as an executive assistant..
I am enclosing a resume and looking forward to hearing from you.


Yours sincerely,
Moon Jiang


MOON JIANG
303, No.72, Yichuan No.4 New Estate, Shanghai China
Phone: 13917209502 E-mail:jiangyueqin@163.com

OBJECTIVE
Work as an executive assistant in Philips International, Inc

SUMMARY OF EDUCATION
 Excellent interpersonal communication skills
 Native Chinese speaker, fluent in English: passed CET 4,CET 6
 Computer literate: Microsoft office,

EDUCATION
Sydney Institute of Language and Commerce (SILC), Shanghai University Shanghai, China
Bachelor International Economics and Trade expected June 2005
Took Intermediate Interpretation course in Shanghai Institute Study University

EXPERIENCE
Maodun Tutor Agency Shanghai,China
Tutor. Teach a 12-year-old boy New Concept English. 2004-present
Maodun Tutor Agency Shanghai, China
Tutor. Taught a 10-year-old boy Cambridge English. 2002-2004
Bank of Shanghai Shanghai, China
Assistant cashier. Handled the daily revenue of a bus company. Summer, 2002
Huaqi Agency Shanghai,China
Sales person. Sold handwriting keyboards in a department store. Spring, 2002

 

[Tdol]

Dear Sir:

I'd use
Dear Sir or Mdaam,
;-)

 

[RonBee]

Re:

• In the past several years, I have had a good knowledge of basic principle in international trade.

Perhaps:

• In the past several years, I have acquired a good knowledge of the basic principles of international trade.

Re:

• I have learned to focus on national economics and international economics through developing view.

I am afraid I don't understand that, especially the last part.

Re:

• During my study, I am active and positive in learning so I was awarded scholarship.

Try:

• During my studies I was active and positive in learning, so I was awarded a scholarship.

Re:

• I am honest, keeping promise, upright, and optimistic.

Try:

• I am honest, trustworthy, and optimistic.

 

[moonjiang]

thank you very much for your correction.

 

[Tdol]

Work as an executive assistant in Philips International, Inc

Work as an Executive Assistant in Philips International, Inc