Could anyone help check and correct the passage , Thx again

[Helped Wanted]

One day, the king brought three pills and showed them to his wife. He told her that if they both take one, they will both live forever.

The tenses used above were sort of confusing plus some unnecessary words being used. Could anyone help correct them? Thanks again for helping! T_T

 

[Casiopea]

Re: Could anyone help check and correct the passage , Thx ag

One day, the King brought three pills and showed them to his wife. He told her that if they both took one, they would both live forever.

He told her, "If we each take one, we will both live forever."

 

[Helped Wanted]

Thanks again for helping! ^o^