Could you correct me this letter?

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Anonymous

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Dear John,
As you know, next month will be Peter’s birthday, so we are looking for a present for him. I am discussing with some friends of us about what is the best present for him.
Some of us suggested buying some clothes, I agree with them and I hope you to. Now we must choice the present. A trousers is a good alternative because he is always wearing the same trousers and I think that it would be useful for him. Another possibility, are some t-shirt because he prefers wearing t-shirt instead of shirt, but the problem is that we do not know what kind of t-shirt he likes. Other friends proposed some sport’s article like a tennis’s racquet because he had broken his racquets two months ago. So, either the clothes like t-shirt or trousers or else the tennis’s racquets are the best alternatives to give him as a present.
I hope that you could contact with me as soon as possible because we must decide what to buy until next months.

Cheers
Clack

PS: Do not said anything to Peter!!!!.
 

RonBee

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Revising a letter

I'll do my best. Let's take it one sentence at a time.

1. As you know, next month will be Peter’s birthday, so we are looking for a present for him.

That one is perfectly fine. Good start!

2. I am discussing with some friends of us about what is the best present for him.

Too many words! Try:

  • I am discussing with some friends what would be the best present for him.

3. Some of us suggested buying some clothes, I agree with them and I hope you to.

That would be better as two sentences. Try:

  • Some of us suggested buying him some clothes. I agree with them and I hope you do too.

4. Now we must choice the present.

You need to use choose instead of choice there. Choose is the verb, and choice is the noun.

5. A trousers is a good alternative because he is always wearing the same trousers and I think that it would be useful for him.

You can't use alternative there, because it doesn't mean the same thing as choice.

Try:

  • I think it would be a good idea to get him a pair of pants, because he is always wearing the same pair of pants.

You can use trousers instead of pants. (The first is BE; the second is AE.)

6. Another possibility, are some t-shirt because he prefers wearing t-shirt instead of shirt, but the problem is that we do not know what kind of t-shirt he likes.

Try:

  • We could get him a T-shirt. I know he likes to likes to wear tee-shirts. The problem is that we do not know what kind of t-shirt he likes.

By "kind" are you referrring to design? Whether it has printing on it or not? Color?

7. Other friends proposed some sport’s article like a tennis’s racquet because he had broken his racquets two months ago.

Try:

  • A couple of people suggested getting him a sports article, like a tennis racquet. Since he broke his racquets two months ago, he might appreciate that.

8. So, either the clothes like t-shirt or trousers or else the tennis’s racquets are the best alternatives to give him as a present.

Try:

  • We have decided to get him a T-shirt, a pair of pants (trousers) or a tennis racquet.

9. I hope that you could contact with me as soon as possible because we must decide what to buy until next months.

Please contact me as soon as possible, because we must decide what to get him by next month.

10. Cheers
Clack

PS: Do not said anything to Peter!!!!.

Cheers
Clack

PS: Do not say anything to Peter. ;-)


What do you think?

:)
 

RonBee

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P.S.

Re:
Could you correct me this letter?

Make that

  • Would you correct this letter for me?

Or:

  • Please correct this letter for me.

:)
 

RonBee

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aleycris said:
What do you think about my english level?

Regards
Alejandro

Well, you're not a beginner. I don't think you're advanced. That leaves intermediate. What do you think?

:)
 

Red5

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Welcome to UsingEnglish, Alejandro. ;-)
 

RonBee

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I'd opt for the aluminum racket. What about you? :wink:

  • AE: racket
    BE: racquet

:)
 
A

aleycris

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Yes I think that I'm not a begginer but I've a lot o problem because I don't use english a lot because I live in Argentina so I speak Spanish all days.
On the other hand I'm making an English Intensive course, but the actual teacher doesn't have a friendly way to teach because he put a lot of presure on the student.
I showed the letter taht you corrected, and he corrected only 4 error, two of then are the spelling of racquets because he said that is racket.

Weel 4 error for him is a C or 5 to 6, and I don't agree with him because I made silly mistakes.

Well that is my opinion about my english level.

Regards
Alejandro
 

RonBee

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aleycris said:
Yes I think that I'm not a begginer but I've a lot o problem because I don't use english a lot because I live in Argentina so I speak Spanish all days.
On the other hand I'm making an English Intensive course, but the actual teacher doesn't have a friendly way to teach because he put a lot of presure on the student.
I showed the letter taht you corrected, and he corrected only 4 error, two of then are the spelling of racquets because he said that is racket.

Weel 4 error for him is a C or 5 to 6, and I don't agree with him because I made silly mistakes.

Well that is my opinion about my english level.

Regards
Alejandro

Well, I'll do my best to help.

Instead of all days we would say all the time.
Instead of I'm making an English Intensive course we would say I'm taking an English Intensive course.
Unless you are comparing him to somebody who claims to be a teacher but is not, I wouldn't use actual teacher. Say simply teacher.
Say: "He puts a lot of pressure on the student." (Or on his students.) Put would be past tense.
While racquets more typically BE than AE, I wouldn't call it an error. Indeed, I am quite sure that spelling is used here (USA) from time to time. Indeed, the Infoplease dictionary gives racquet as an alternate spelling. Go to: http://www.infoplease.com/ipd/A0614391.html

I think you're doing okay. Your English is much better than my Spanish.

:)
 
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