[Cover Letter] Motivation Letter for application into Power Engineering at TUM

Yusha Arif

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Hello Everyone.
I would like you to help me make corrections to my Motivation Letter as best as it could be. If possible, could it be made more concise as i have been given a word limit of 500 words.
Thank you very Much.


Dear Recipient,
My name is XXXX, and I have completed my bachelor’s degree in Electrical Engineering from the National University of Sciences and Technology (NUST) in Pakistan. With this letter I wish to express my interest in applying for the master’s program of Power Engineering at the Technische Universität München (TUM).
My inclination towards this program comes from the variety of courses and electives in its modules. The courses that specially sparked my interest are Sustainable Mobility, Renewable Energy Technology and Energy Storage. In addition to the plethora of courses offered at TUM, the set of highly informational and scientific seminars has only reinforced my desire to apply for this program.
In my year-long work experience as an analyst at Power Technology Research, a Munich based market research company, I had the opportunity to work with major global players in the Power industry as clients, the likes of which include Siemens, Bosch, and Eaton. The two major projects that I worked on included an elaborate study on medium-voltage switchgear for the markets of South East Asia and an in-depth analysis of the global market for electric vehicle chargers. Both of these projects had a high focus on power grid and renewable energy. Therefore, my extensive research for these projects over the past months has driven me to seek further expertise in this domain and be able to apply theoretical knowledge to practice.I was also fortunate enough to be amongst the top 14 students in the country to be selected for the internship at Reckitt Benckiser in 2019. Being the only intern appointed in the engineering department provided me with insights on how power technology and utility load management plays an imperative role in every type of industry ranging from agricultural and pharmaceutical to automotive and energy.
My predilection for the power industry can also be seen in a project I did designing a sensor-based control system which can be used to irrigate crops through wireless communication. The reason why I chose this project is because Pakistan is predominantly an agricultural country and it only seemed fitting to come up with innovative solutions for the problems faced in this sector. My work on this project also got me to the top 3 teams in the annual competition held at my university for Finding Innovative & Creative Solutions (FICS 2020) and enabled me to attract the eye of local investors who were looking to outsource the build-up of the system’s prototype for their own greenhouse.
My strong academic background comes paired with extra curriculars as well. During my bachelors, I had been a part of multiple societies where I fulfilled responsibilities as an organizer of events for students such as Book Fair, Welcome, gaming events etc. I took a lead as the Sport Captain for the yearly sports gala held at NUST and also participated in other minor competitions such as parliamentary debates and media fest.
For someone like me, aiming to prosper in the field of science and technology, Germany’s state-of-the art institutes remain to be unmatched.The entire world recognizes Germany as a global leader in innovation, boasting leading universities and research institutes alongside major engineering, IT and manufacturing industries. TUM also happens to offer highly qualified faculty and technology-advanced laboratories which is why it has become my top priority school for specialization. Like any progressive minded individual, I also aim to achieve the best of the best. Therefore, after graduating from the top engineering school in Pakistan, it has become my dream and ambition to study at the one of the top tier university in Germany to realize my goals and further my career in the best of manners.
For this matter, I put forward my application for your consideration. I hope my vision and potential is evident enough to make me a valuable addition to the Master’s Program at TUM.

Sincerely,
XXXX
 

emsr2d2

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Hello, everyone.

I would like you to help me make [STRIKE]corrections to[/STRIKE] my motivation letter as [STRIKE]best[/STRIKE] good as it [STRIKE]could[/STRIKE] can be. If possible, could it be made more concise as I have been given a [STRIKE]word[/STRIKE] limit of 500 words.

Thank you very much.

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Please note my corrections to the opening of your post.

The first thing you need to do is put an empty line between every paragraph. You can edit post #1 for 24 hours after you post it. After you have done that, someone will be able to look at the rest of the post. However, we won't rewrite it for you. You should have tried to make it under 500 words in the first place.
 

Tarheel

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There are two ways to pare something down. Either decide what's most important and keep that, or decide what's less important and discard that.
 

teechar

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I wish to apply for the Master of Power Engineering program at the Technische Universität München, starting in September 2021.

I completed my bachelor’s degree in Electrical Engineering from the National University of Sciences and Technology (NUST) in Pakistan in 2019, and my inclination towards this program comes from the variety of courses and electives in its modules, especially Sustainable Mobility, Renewable Energy Technology and Energy Storage.

In my year-long work experience as an analyst at Power Technology Research, a Munich-based market research company, I had the opportunity to work with major global players in the power industry as clients, such as Siemens, Bosch, and Eaton. The two major projects that I worked on included an elaborate study on medium-voltage switchgear for the markets of South East Asia and an in-depth analysis of the global market for electric vehicle chargers. Both of these projects had a high focus on power grid and renewable energy. Therefore, I wish to seek further expertise in this domain and to specialize in it.

I was also fortunate enough to be among the top 14 students in the country to be selected for the internship at Reckitt Benckiser in 2019. Being the only intern appointed in the engineering department provided me with insights on how power technology and utility load management play an imperative role in every type of industry. I also designed a sensor-based control system which can be used to irrigate crops through wireless communication. I chose that project because Pakistan is predominantly an agricultural country and it needs innovative solutions in this sector. My work on that project also got me to the top three teams in the annual competition held at my university for Finding Innovative & Creative Solutions (FICS 2020), and enabled me to attract the eye of local investors who were looking to outsource the build-up of the system’s prototype for their own greenhouse.

During my bachelor’s, I participated in various college clubs, as an organizer of events for students such as Book Fair, Welcome, and gaming events. I was the Sport Captain for the yearly sports gala held at NUST and also participated in other minor competitions such as parliamentary debates and media fest.
For me, Germany’s state-of-the art institutes and leading universities are the global leaders in innovation, research, engineering, IT and manufacturing. TUM also offers highly qualified faculty and technologically advanced laboratories which is why it has become my school of choice for specialization. I aim to be with the best of the best. Therefore, after graduating from the top engineering school in Pakistan, it has become my dream and ambition to study at such a prestigious institution and to realize my goals and further my career.

I thank you for considering my application, and I hope my vision and potential will qualify me as a valuable addition to the master’s program at TUM.

Yours faithfully,

Penny Farthing
There you go. Use your real name and graduation date.
 

Yusha Arif

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Thanks a lot for the corrections. I was just curious to know whether the introduction part seemed rather incoherent.

I completed my bachelor’s degree in Electrical Engineering from the National University of Sciences and Technology (NUST) in Pakistan in 2019 and my inclination towards this program comes from the variety of courses and electives in its modules, especially Sustainable Mobility, Renewable Energy Technology and Energy Storage.

Isn't the part after the highlighted "and" too abrupt? Or am i overthinking it? Any suggestions and changes would be highly appreciated.

Thanks!
 

teechar

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Try this.
I completed my bachelor’s degree in Electrical Engineering from the National University of Sciences and Technology (NUST) in Pakistan in 2019. My inclination towards this program comes from the variety of courses and electives in its modules, especially Sustainable Mobility, Renewable Energy Technology and Energy Storage.
 
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