Cover letter review

[etmichel]

I'd appreciate a review for this application letter. Thanks in advance !



March 14, 2008


XX Corporation
Human Resources Department
Adress


To Whom It May Concern.

The XX V.I.E. position advertised on XX website captured my attention. Working around a wide range of everyday-life building products is particularly interesting. Moreover, joining a well-known US company within a multi-cultural group will be a rich experience.

For over than two years, I have worked on various reportings related to manufacturing costs, stocks, staff cost and overheads. Communicating relevant figures as reports in a clear and direct way is a priority I’m really concerned in. Management seldom wants tons of useless datas.

Analysing complex and various flows of information, crossing and summarizing it is one of my abilities. My double skill in computer science permits me to do it effectively and quickly, while streamlining processes and setting up tools.

Indeed, I’m already familiar with ERP and developped an expertise in Excel, Access and VBA language. Weighted average purchasing costs’ reporting which takes several hours less or paper-based reportings’ dematerialization are a few examples. Thus, more time can be devoted to real value-added duties.

Available in May for the position, I look forward to hearing from and see when we can meet for an interview.



Sincerely yours,

 

[etmichel]

Is there any native to post a quick reply ? I have to send it soon and I'm sure there are mistakes :-/
Thanks

 

[Anglika]

I'd appreciate a review for this application letter. Thanks in advance !



March 14, 2008

Human Resources Department
XX Corporation
Address


Dear sirs, Check the website for contact details. If necessary, phone the company switchboard and ask for a name in the HR dept concerned with hiring staff; then write to that person.

The XX V.I.E. position advertised on XX website captured my attention. Working around a wide range of everyday-life building products [ everyday life-building products ] is particularly interesting. Moreover, joining a well-known US company within a multi-cultural group will be a rich experience.

For over than two years, I have worked on various projects and had to produce reports related to manufacturing costs, stocks, staff cost and overheads. Communicating relevant figures as reports in a clear and direct way is a priority I’m really concerned in [in any work I do ]. Management seldom wants tons of useless data.

Analysing complex and various flows of information, crossing-referencing and summarizing it is one of my abilities. My double skill in computer science permits me to do it effectively and quickly, while streamlining processes and setting up tools.

Indeed, I’m already familiar with ERP and have developed an expertise in Excel, Access and VBA language. Weighted average purchasing costs [no apostrophe - not a possessive ] reports, which takes several hours less [less than what?], or paper-based reportings’ dematerialization [meaningless - what do you mean by this phrase?] are a few examples. Through these processes/Doing this, more time can be devoted to real value-added duties.

Available in May for the position, I look forward to hearing from and see when we can meet for an interview.

Taking too much for granted.

"I am very interested in this position and would like to apply for the job. Please let me know if you have an application form. If not, please take this as my first application. My cv/resume is attached for your information, and I will be able to attend an interview when it is convenient. I can be contacted on [email address] or by phone on [tel. number].

Please note that from May I will be available to a new employer."


Yours faithfully, [if to "Dear sirs"; Yours sincerely" if to a named person]

.

 

[etmichel]

Thanks a lot!
For the points which were unclear, I would mean :
...which takes several hours less (than earlier) ...
paper-based reportings’ dematerialization : transform a paper-based reporting into an electronic version

 

[Anglika]

Thanks a lot!
For the points which were unclear, I would mean :

...which takes several hours less (than earlier) ...better phrased as: "...which can be produced more rapidly..."

paper-based reportings’ dematerialization : transform paper-based reporting into an electronic version I would use this - it is much clearer.

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