David and his wife had their first argument

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Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

David and his wife had their first argument when he noticed her drawing up the list of the items they were going to buy whenever they went to a supermarket.
"Do you have dementia?" David asked. His wife gave him a long stare and hit him with her bag in the head.
 

emsr2d2

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

David and his wife had their first argument when he [STRIKE]noticed[/STRIKE] saw/spotted/found her drawing up [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a list of the items they were going to buy whenever they went to a supermarket.
"Do you have dementia?" David asked. His wife gave him a long stare and hit him over the head with her bag. [STRIKE]in the head.[/STRIKE]

See above. I'd shorten "a list of the items they were going to buy" to "a shopping list".
 
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