difficult sentence

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adel87

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dear in this sentence
The most common questions I get from young people are,
"Do Muslims date?" and "If they don't date, how do
they decide whom to marry?"

why they don't use who what is the difference between them

thank you
 

emsr2d2

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dear in this sentence
The most common questions I get from young people are,
"Do Muslims date?" and "If they don't date, how do
they decide whom to marry?"

why they don't use who what is the difference between them

thank you

I'm surprised that you hear that construction more often than "...who to marry?" Most people I know would use "who", but then most people I know wouldn't use "whom" in any sentence! :-D

A quick rule is if you can substitute "he/she" then use "who". If you would need "him/her" then use "whom". Although a straight substitution isn't possible in your original sentence, look at it like this:

How did you decide to marry him?
If you don't date a man, how will you decide whether or not to marry him?

You wouldn't use "he" in either of those sentences instead of "him", therefore "whom" is appropriate, not "who".

I may be wrong but I think the following may also be relevant:

To whom will you be married?

"Who" becomes "whom" after a preposition.
 
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Who is used as the subject of a sentence or clause, and whom is always used as an object. However, this rule is now considered "old-fashioned", and who can replace whom. Still, if you use whom, it would be OK. :)
 
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