Do you understand it?

[Joe]

Re:

• If possible,please correct any mistakes I make.I'd appreciate it very much.

Um, you might want to get in the habit of spacing after punctuation: commas and periods, for example.

Thanks, RonBee. Your suggestions have helped me a lot.

 

[RonBee]

You're welcome.



I'm glad to help.

 

[jwschang]

Re: differences

Thank you for your correction. I'll wait for JWS Chang's comment.
Jiang

For several times I was told Chinese way is kind of serious and formal. Why is that? Is it because of Chinese culture or because English is a foreign language and when traanslating from Chinese into English the tone becomes serious and formal?
Jiang

Well, since I don't know Chinese it is hard for me to say. It could be a cultural thing, but it could be something else. Perhaps JWSChang will see this and comment. (He is from Singapore and speaks English and Chinese.)
(Say: "I have been told several times...." The word "for" is used to express duration ("I waited for an hour") and not number.)

Happy New Year to you all. Gong Xi Fa Cai (wishing you happiness and prosperity), Wan Shi Ru Yi (literally, may 10,000 matters (all things) be realized as you wish)!
Today is the third day of the Spring Festival in the year of the monkey, and a rainy Saturday here in Singapore, a very cool day such as a Singapore winter would be.
Jiang wanted to know if the work report translation into English was idiomatic enough (I'd say no), and whether the sentences were understandable (I think yes, they are clearly expressed).
I think that in general "work reports" do not tend to use idiomatic or informal language. Even internal office memoranda may be more or less formal, depending on the subject and recipients.
Jiang's example is a government report and the "serious and formal" language doesn't seem to me to be particularly unusual, compared to, say, a similar report or directive in Singapore. The difference is the translation appears somewhat stiffer in English, partly due to the exhortative tone of the report and not so much a cultural difference.

If I guess correctly, Jiang would like to make it less formal and stiff by using some idiomatic expressions. To "smoothen" an official report, idiomatic expressions may not the best way to do it, nor a sentence-by-sentence correction. I think Ronbee and TDOL are the experts who can smoothen the entire report.

On something else which is related in a way, I have noticed that in China you often find that marketing flyers cramp as many words (wheher Chinese or English) into a piece of paper as space will allow. The main message(s) and focus are lost to the reader as a result! :wink:

 

[RonBee]

Re: differences

On something else which is related in a way, I have noticed that in China you often find that marketing flyers cramp as many words (wheher Chinese or English) into a piece of paper as space will allow. The main message(s) and focus are lost to the reader as a result!

I think the word you want there is cram, but I imagine that they do get pretty cramped. I agree that the message can get lost if you use more words than you need.

There is almost always more than one way to interpret something. It depends on the result you want.

:wink:

 

[Tdol]

We like 'white space' on a page. ;-)

 

[jwschang]

Re: differences

On something else which is related in a way, I have noticed that in China you often find that marketing flyers cramp as many words (wheher Chinese or English) into a piece of paper as space will allow. The main message(s) and focus are lost to the reader as a result!

I think the word you want there is cram, but I imagine that they do get pretty cramped. I agree that the message can get lost if you use more words than you need.

There is almost always more than one way to interpret something. It depends on the result you want.

:wink:

you're right, cram too much and it gets crammed and cramped.