doros poems

[doro]

My lonelyness is hurting me
cause you`re not at my side
You'll never understand me
but I want you to know how I feel
Why can't you make my life worth living?
Why can't you just be with me
I need you by my side
to make my heart stop bleeding
I can be everything you need
But sometimes I think you don't need anything at all

one of my poems. i post some others later.

 

[RonBee]

Not bad. For somebody for whom English is a second language, that is not bad. Indeed, I have seen quite a few by native speakers that didn't "hang together" as well as that one.

 

[doro]

Thank you RonBee!!!

That's one of the poems I have to write for school.

if you are a boot, and the sea is love
you need the sea
because without it you're nothing
the sea can be beautiful
but also cold and stormy
you can drown in it
but without risking a shipwreck
you will always stand still
if you have enough luck
you would get to a land
a place where you can stay
where your wishes come true

you see everything can happen
if you just risk to love
you can own happiness
or be driven insane
but doesnt risk love
means regret it for the rest of your life

 

[RonBee]

If you don't take chances you will never go anywhere?

Rather than if you just risk to love, I suggest if you take a chance on love.

 

[doro]

If you don't take chances you will never go anywhere?
yes, I think so!

Rather than if you just risk to love, I suggest if you take a chance on love.
thank you for help!!!!!!!!!!

 

[RonBee]

Always.