During the cancer treatment

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Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentence i grammatically correct.

During the cancer treatment, all Gina's hair fell out, and to avoid embarrassment, she was wearing a wig.
 

tedmc

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During the cancer treatment, all of Gina's hair fell out, and to avoid embarrassment, she [STRIKE]was wearing[/STRIKE] wore a wig.
 

Bassim

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tedmc,
I asked you on a few occasions that you should not correct my mistakes. A few years ago, I have got a warning by a moderator because of you. I simply ignore your corrections and they do not help me at all. If you want to help someone there are dozens of other people who need help, so you can help them, but please ignore my posts, just as I ignore your corrections.
 

emsr2d2

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I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

During [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] cancer treatment, all Gina's hair fell out (no comma here) and, to avoid embarrassment, she [STRIKE]was wearing[/STRIKE] wore a wig.

See above. You could add "her" before "cancer treatment". I might change "and" to "so" to show cause and effect.
 

Lynxear

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I don't have a problem with "the cancer". "Her cancer" is also correct but I think it is redundant.

I don't really like the latter half of the sentence as you have written it. First of all, "wore" should replace "was wearing" to stay consistent with the previous verb "fell".

I have two suggestions for the sentence as a whole.

1. Split the sentence into two sentences.

During the cancer treatment, all Gina's hair fell out. To avoid embarrassment, she wore a wig.

I don't really like this suggestion as it is uninteresting though grammatical and easy to read.

2. I would rearrange the last part of the original sentence.

During the cancer treatment, all Gina's hair fell out, and she wore a wig to avoid embarrassment.

I like this suggestion better. It avoids a comma that breaks up the original sentence, does not lose the original meaning and is an interesting construction to read.
 

Tdol

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I am closing this thread as it has lost the spirit of a forum.
 
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