I blew my best chance of emceeing.
I did a spot of stand-up comedy while I was still living in Berlin -- one of the comedy clubs in town had a regular English comedy night. One night I remember particularly well, I was just about to launch into a stinging attack on the German sense of fun -- or rather, lack of it -- when I suddenly thought it would be a good idea to just check how much of my audience I was about to insult. So I said, "Any Germans here?"
When you're on stage, the lights blind you and you can't see more than the first two rows of the audience. I saw some hands go up, but I heard... nothing.
So I said, "See -- this is exactly what I'm talking about. Let me demonstrate: Are there any Americans in the audience?"
Americans are much less reserved than Germans, and I heard cheers and shouts and whoops (and possibly also the first two bars of The Star-Spangled Banner, but perhaps my memory is playing tricks on me).
"See -- that's how to do it," I said. "Let's try again: Any Germans here tonight?"
About six people said, "Yes."
"No no no," I said -- and got them to try again. After about three attempts, I got them up to the same volume as the Americans.
Afterwards, the emcee suggested that I ought to try my hand at emceeing. Unfortunately (but fortunately in other respects) I met a girl from the country and moved away from Berlin to live with her (and eventually to marry her), so I never got the chance.