I am preparing for IELTS exam. Could you please check my essay? Any correction and suggestions will be appreciated 
If you are familiar with IELTS writing assessment, could you please tell me which score this essay deserves?
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree and disagree?
Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays advertising has a high impact on the society, especially, on the young generation. People are starting to believe in what they hear and see every day, especially, if it is shown in the glamorous and attractive way. Thus a lot of people often buy things that they actually don’t need.
It is obvious that advertising helps business to grow by stimulating consumers buy particular brand or starting to use services of some particular companies. Modern generation is overwhelmed by a huge amount of advertisements that comes from everywhere: radio, TV, magazines, etc. This forces people to buy things and services often when they don’t actually need these products. Moreover, sometimes people buy these redundant products for money that they don’t have, using credit cards which most of people can easily get now, and that is also inspired by advertisement. All this can lead to severe problems like recent credit card crisis in USA.
Most noticeable bad influence advertising has on youths. In their attempts following up-to-date products they spend a lot of money and time which they could spend on such useful activity as education. Sometimes their choice of a future profession is also stimulated by advertisement. Many of them prefer to read clamorous magazines instead of classical books and science periodicals and this “literature” determines their lifestyles.
To sum up I would say that I completely agree that the main thing, that provokes people to buy a huge amount of different products, some of those they don’t really need, is advertising.
If you are familiar with IELTS writing assessment, could you please tell me which score this essay deserves?
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree and disagree?
Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays advertising has a high impact on the society, especially, on the young generation. People are starting to believe in what they hear and see every day, especially, if it is shown in the glamorous and attractive way. Thus a lot of people often buy things that they actually don’t need.
It is obvious that advertising helps business to grow by stimulating consumers buy particular brand or starting to use services of some particular companies. Modern generation is overwhelmed by a huge amount of advertisements that comes from everywhere: radio, TV, magazines, etc. This forces people to buy things and services often when they don’t actually need these products. Moreover, sometimes people buy these redundant products for money that they don’t have, using credit cards which most of people can easily get now, and that is also inspired by advertisement. All this can lead to severe problems like recent credit card crisis in USA.
Most noticeable bad influence advertising has on youths. In their attempts following up-to-date products they spend a lot of money and time which they could spend on such useful activity as education. Sometimes their choice of a future profession is also stimulated by advertisement. Many of them prefer to read clamorous magazines instead of classical books and science periodicals and this “literature” determines their lifestyles.
To sum up I would say that I completely agree that the main thing, that provokes people to buy a huge amount of different products, some of those they don’t really need, is advertising.
