Every morning, Marco trimmed carefully

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Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct. I have tried to use "five o'clock shadow".

Every morning, Marco trimmed carefully his five o'clock shadow, thinking about the magic it worked on women. They ogled at him and gave him long stares, their eyes sparkling.
 

emsr2d2

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1. The position of "carefully" is unnatural. Put it either before "trimmed" or after "shadow".
2. At the moment, it's hard to tell whether it's the shadow or the trimming of the shadow that works its magic on women.
3. Remove "at" after "ogled".
 

Bassim

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I will repeat my sentence.
Every morning, Marco carefully trimmed his five o'clock shadow, thinking about the magic the stubble worked on women. They ogled him and gave him long stares, their eyes sparkling.
 

Rover_KE

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'Five o'clock shadow' refers to the facial hair stubble that appears at 5pm, slightly spoiling one's hitherto pristine clean-shaven morning appearance.

'Designer stubble' is different. One's whiskers are deliberately left unshaven, but trimmed before they grow into a beard.

I've tried that, but it's never worked for me like it does for Marco.:-(

In fact, it does nothing but give me earache from her indoors.
 
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