find a mistake(s)?

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doingresearch

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Dear all,
It's woud be helpful if anyone can see this sentence and comment or correct it.

"Firstly scaffolding views language learning as contingent and afforded by teacher interacting to learner’s need or lack which this can reveal pedagogy in its interactive stance (van Lier, 2004)."

regards,
 

star2nv16

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Firstly, scaffolding views language learning as contingent and afforded by teacher interacting to learner’s need or lack, which [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] can reveal pedagogy in its interactive stance (van Lier, 2004)."
 

mayita1usa

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"Firstly scaffolding views language learning as contingent and afforded by teacher interacting to learner’s need or lack which this can reveal pedagogy in its interactive stance (van Lier, 2004)."

This is not a very well-written sentence - it uses a style and vocabulary that are unnecessarily complicated!
Here is my rewrite (although I'm not sure I understand what the writer is trying to say, exactly):


Firstly, scaffolding views language learning as contingent [STRIKE]and afforded by[/STRIKE] on teacher [STRIKE]interacting to[/STRIKE] interaction with a learner’s needs or [STRIKE]lack [/STRIKE] deficiencies, which [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] can reveal pedagogy in its interactive [STRIKE]stance[/STRIKE] form.
:-|
 

doingresearch

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Thank you to all replies. It got to maintain some e.g. " afforded by" because it restores a main meaning of the term. Academic writing is sth that always confuse me with rare seen words or complicated structures and meanings.
 
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