Grammar Check 2

Status
Not open for further replies.

empacaon

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Kindly check my grammar for these paragraphs... :|

Lucy Shannon is a beautiful blonde-haired girl who grew in the province of Connacht. At a young age of 3, Mr. and Mrs. Hayman adopted her because of her uniqueness— her left eye could turn into color red when mad. Lucy loves to sing, but she can’t shout for some traumatic reason. She also loves cooking because it’s her foster parents’ hobby. However, Lucy considers herself a person without freedom, because most of her actions and decisions are ordered by her parents.

Amanda Hayman is a 36-year old sterile married woman who lives in the province of Connacht. She loves to cook and dance. A complete family is what makes her really happy. She is very strict to her adopted child, Lucy, because she’s afraid that Lucy’s real parents might find and get her. Amanda also hates being judged because of her intimidating look and her sideline as an entertainer. Her reason for having this sideline is for the additional income of their family.

Alex Hayman is the husband of Amanda. He is a 39-year old man who lives in the province of Connacht. He is one of the great cooks in his job. Just like Amanda, he is also a family person. He cares for his family so much, that’s why he always does his best in his job to get promoted. However, he realized that he rarely spends time with his family because he was engrossed with his job.
 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Lucy Shannon is a beautiful blonde-haired girl who grew in the province of Connacht. At a young age of 3, Mr. and Mrs. Hayman adopted her because of her uniqueness— her left eye could turn into color red when mad. Lucy loves to sing, but she can’t shout for some traumatic reason. She also loves cooking because it’s her foster parents’ hobby. However, Lucy considers herself a person without freedom, because most of her actions and decisions are ordered by her parents.
Lucy Shannon is a beautiful blonde-haired girl who grew up in the province of Connacht. Mr. and Mrs. Hayman adopted Lcuy when she was three because of her unique quality--her left eye turns red when she is angry or upset. Lucy loves to sing, but she can’t shout for some traumatic reason. She also loves cooking because it’s her foster parents’ hobby. However, Lucy considers herself a person without freedom, because most of her actions are controlled by her parents.
:)
Amanda Hayman is a 36-year old sterile married woman who lives in the province of Connacht. She loves cooking and dancing. Having a complete family is what makes her really happy. She is very strict with her adopted child, Lucy, because she’s afraid that Lucy’s real parents might find and get her. Amanda also hates being judged because of her intimidating look and her sideline as an entertainer. Her reason for having this sideline is for the additional income for their family.

Alex Hayman is the husband of Amanda. He is a 39-year old man who lives in the province of Connacht. He is one of the great cooks in his job. Just like Amanda, he is also a family person. He cares for his family very much, and that’s why he always does his best in his job to get promoted. However, he realized that he rarely spends time with his family because he was engrossed with his job.
Alex Hayman is Amanda's husband. He rarely spends with his family because he is so engrossed in his job.
:)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top