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Muktha_Rushu

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Could you please correct the sentences below?

He will travel to Bahrain today at 7.10 pm on his old visa as the embassy has confirmed that it is valid till 18-Aug-2017 after the first entry. If the airlines do not deny his travel , then he would reach Bahrain by 7.30 pm.
 

Lynxear

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First of all, time is expressed with a colon :)) not a period(.) and I would not leave a space between the number and am/pm. So the times should be shown as 7:10pm and 7:30pm.

The first sentence looks fine to me except for the time as I mentioned.

Airlines should be singular in the second sentence as you can only travel on one at a time. I would change "would" to "should". "Should" shows a probability of something happening unless there are problems.

He will travel to Bahrain today at 7:10 pm on his old visa as the embassy has confirmed that it is valid till 18-Aug-2017 after the first entry. If there are no problems with the airline , then he should land in Bahrain by 7:30 pm.

This is how I would write the second sentence. You will note I changed "reach" to "land in". This confirms his method of travel. He could "reach" his final destination by many means. Perhaps the airline in question runs a bus service as well as a flying service. The reader does not know.

Hope this helps.

 
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emsr2d2

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First of all, time is expressed with a colon :)) not a period(.) and I would not leave a space between the number and am/pm. So the times should be shown as 7:10pm and 7:30pm.

The first sentence looks fine to me except for the time as I mentioned.

Airlines should be singular in the second sentence as you can only travel on one at a time. I would change "would" to "should". "Should" shows a probability of something happening unless there are problems.

He will travel to Bahrain today at 7:10 pm on his old visa as the embassy has confirmed that it is valid till 18-Aug-2017 after the first entry. If there are no problems with the airline , then he should land in Bahrain by 7:30 pm.

This is how I would write the second sentence. You will note I changed "reach" to "land in". This confirms his method of travel. He could "reach" his final destination by many means. Perhaps the airline in question runs a bus service as well as a flying service. The reader does not know.

Hope this helps. [STRIKE]:)[/STRIKE]

Lynxear, you told the OP not to put a space before "pm" but then you left one in your rewrite. Also, please note that we spend a lot of time ensuring learners know that they must use a closing punctuation mark at the end of every sentence, and that an emoticon (especially homemade ones, rather than the ones available on the forum) do not replace that punctuation mark.
 
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