Have I expressed it clearly?

[NewHope]

We are confident that a trial order would convince you that, at the prices quoted, the goods have excellent value for tourism. From all list prices we allow a trade discount of 20% on orders received on or before 30April and a further special discount of 10% on orders over US$10,000, making 30% in all.

 

[twostep]

We are confident that a trial order would convince you that, at the prices quoted, the goods have excellent value for tourism. From all list prices we allow a trade discount of 20% on orders received on or before 30April and a further special discount of 10% on orders over US$10,000, making 30% in all.

A sample order will convince you that these goods for the tourism market are an excellent value for the price. We allow a trade discount of 20% on all orders received by April 30 and an additional discount of 10% on orders over US$10,000. A total savings of 30% on your order.

Just a suggestion.

 

[NewHope]

Good suggestion.

 

[twostep]

Good suggestion.

FYI - Good sources for sales memos are care adds. You can pull them off the internet or ask to have brochures mailed to you.