Help correct couplet.

[blacknomi]

Dear teachers,

I'm kind of in a hurry and need your help right now. I am going to teach kids pronunciation, and I've written some simple verses to help them learn and memorize. Would you pls revise and correct bad verses. Thank you very much in advance.



1.
A bee sleeps in a tree,
And we sleep on a seat.


2.
I meet her at the beach,
We drink tea, speak Chinese.


3.
Sixty pigs, sexy Dick,
Sit together with my Nick.


4.
Saturday and Sunday are play days,
I hope they aren’t rainy days.


5.
Go ahead, rock your head.
Share me with your happy thread.


6.
Big fat cat, big bad cat,
Are you on the top of map?


7.
I sat on an apple pie,
Looking at a butterfly.


8.
Father wants to wash a car,
But the weather’s hot hot hot.
Mother wants to watch a clock,
And the clock says wa-wa-what.


9.
It’s twelve at noon,
Time for soup.
It’s two to two,
Time for fruit.


10.
I hate to look
At grammar book,
Could you cook it
As a food.


11.
Hello, Mr. Window,
Do you see my fellow?
Hello, Mrs. Widow,
He’s lying on a pillow.


12.
I bought a ball in a mall,
I saw a daughter play in fall.


13.
Father and mother,
Bother my brother.
Teacher called Peter,
Flirt me in winter.


14.
I’m about to walk along,
and I’m afraid to be alone.


15.
Up up umbrella,
Cup cup tequila.


16.
Up up big bra,
Cup cup Z-bra (Zebra).


17.
Time flies, drink wine.
Bottom up, stay fine.


18.
Eat rice, be wise.
Good night, sleep tight.


19.
I would rather lie on a pie,
Instead try to fly to sky.

 

[MikeNewYork]

Dear teachers,

I'm kind of in a hurry and need your help right now. I am going to teach kids pronunciation, and I've written some simple verses to help them learn and memorize. Would you pls revise and correct bad verses. Thank you very much in advance.



1.
A bee sleeps in a tree,
And we sleep on a seat.


2.
I meet her at the beach,
We drink tea, speak Chinese.


3.
Sixty pigs, sexy Dick,
Sit together with my Nick.


4.
Saturday and Sunday are play days,
I hope they aren’t rainy days.


5.
Go ahead, rock your head.
Share me with your happy thread.


6.
Big fat cat, big bad cat,
Are you on the top of map?


7.
I sat on an apple pie,
Looking at a butterfly.


8.
Father wants to wash a car,
But the weather’s hot hot hot.
Mother wants to watch a clock,
And the clock says wa-wa-what.


9.
It’s twelve at noon,
Time for soup.
It’s two to two,
Time for fruit.


10.
I hate to look
At grammar book,
Could you cook it
As a food.


11.
Hello, Mr. Window,
Do you see my fellow?
Hello, Mrs. Widow,
He’s lying on a pillow.


12.
I bought a ball in a mall,
I saw a daughter play in fall.


13.
Father and mother,
Bother my brother.
Teacher called Peter,
Flirt me in winter.


14.
I’m about to walk along,
and I’m afraid to be alone.


15.
Up up umbrella,
Cup cup tequila.


16.
Up up big bra,
Cup cup Z-bra (Zebra).


17.
Time flies, drink wine.
Bottom up, stay fine.


18.
Eat rice, be wise.
Good night, sleep tight.


19.
I would rather lie on a pie,
Instead try to fly to sky.

Erm...I'm not sure what to do. You seem to going for rhymes instead of complete sentences. :?

 

[blacknomi]

Yes, I wrote broken sentences to rhyme.

Any comment?

 

[Casiopea]

What native language do your students speak?

I see you're focusing on long vowels. Is that right?

I'd delete 3. ; I'd change 'map' to 'lap' in 6., I love 7. ; 10. is kind of odd; 11. is quite difficult; I'd rephrase 13., 'Flirt me in winter' ; 14. as well as others, don't rhyme; 15. 'tequila' is hmm; 16. 'big bra' is hmm; 17. change 'bottom' to 'bottoms'.

All the best,

 

[blacknomi]

What native language do your students speak?

Chinese.

I see you're focusing on long vowels. Is that right?

I'd like to emphasize on long tense vowels because we don't have that in Chinese pronunciation.

Most of students, including adults and kids, have problem with non-long lax "i" and egg. For examples, students count numbers like this, one two three four five sex seven eight. "Well you go" instead of "Will you go"

I'd delete 3. ; I'd change 'map' to 'lap' in 6., I love 7. ; 10. is kind of odd; 11. is quite difficult; I'd rephrase 13., 'Flirt me in winter' ; 14. as well as others, don't rhyme; 15. 'tequila' is hmm; 16. 'big bra' is hmm; 17. change 'bottom' to 'bottoms'.

All the best,

Yea, some of the verses are "hmm" examples , I can't think of any off the top my head now. I'll delete #3 and bra examples, and replace "flirt" me in winter, with "teach." Is it better?

I love #7 too.
I love #10 as well. Student are so yearning to burn grammar books! So I make a rhyme like #10. How odd is it?

 

[shane]

Most of students, including adults and kids, have problem with non-long lax "i" and egg.

I often find myself correcting students when they pronounce 'egg' as aigg (the 'e' sound rhymes with 'ride'), and 'bed' as 'bide' (same problem).

[edit] And don't get me started on the pronunciation of 'usually' (pronounced by so many as 'urually') [edit]

 

[Tdol]

My own favourite is 'squirelling'. I had a Japanese student last summer who learnt the phrasal verb 'squirel away'. A year later she's progressed to just about getting the number of syllables right. It will probably be recognisable within a few years. ;-)

 

[blacknomi]

Most of students, including adults and kids, have problem with non-long lax "i" and egg.

I often find myself correcting students when they pronounce 'egg' as aigg (the 'e' sound rhymes with 'ride'), and 'bed' as 'bide' (same problem).

[edit] And don't get me started on the pronunciation of 'usually' (pronounced by so many as 'urually') [edit]

There you go. The fricative " u " in usually. I tell my students, try their best to mimick.

 

[blacknomi]

My own favourite is 'squirelling'. I had a Japanese student last summer who learnt the phrasal verb 'squirel away'. A year later she's progressed to just about getting the number of syllables right. It will probably be recognisable within a few years. ;-)

Why? Do you mean the spelling of squirelling or the pronunciation?

(squ-ire-lling)

I don't much appreciate of words ending as "ance" or "ence". I have to toss a coin. :?

 

[Casiopea]

My own favourite is 'squirelling'. I had a Japanese student last summer who learnt the phrasal verb 'squirel away'. A year later she's progressed to just about getting the number of syllables right. It will probably be recognisable within a few years. ;-)

Vietnamese Speaker

I like wimin (Means, I like swimming) :shock:

 

[Tdol]

So a 'wimin pool' is not a singles bar?;-)

 

[Casiopea]

So a 'wimin pool' is not a singles bar?;-)

In Vietnamese it is. 8)

 

[RonBee]

Re:

• I sat on an apple pie,
  Looking at a butterfly.

That one works because not only does it rhyme but it is humorous.

Blacknomi, have you looked through the couplets thread? You might find some there that you can use. Go to: https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1579&highlight=. If you need more I can write more. Just tell me what you need. I am the rhyming specialist here.

:wink:

 

[blacknomi]

Re:

• I sat on an apple pie,
  Looking at a butterfly.

That one works because not only does it rhyme but it is humorous.

:wink:

Take that. ==>@->--

 

[RonBee]

Re:

• I sat on an apple pie,
  Looking at a butterfly.

That one works because not only does it rhyme but it is humorous.

:wink:

Take that. ==>@->--

Okay. What should I do with it?

:wink:

 

[blacknomi]

Re:

• I sat on an apple pie,
  Looking at a butterfly.

That one works because not only does it rhyme but it is humorous.

:wink:

Take that. ==>@->--

Okay. What should I do with it?

:wink:

Put it in a vase. Water it. Keep it alive. ~

|\
| @
|
| <== No Good.

@
|
|
| <== LOL! LOL!

 

[MikeNewYork]

Re:

• I sat on an apple pie,
  Looking at a butterfly.

That one works because not only does it rhyme but it is humorous.

:wink:

Take that. ==>@->--

Okay. What should I do with it?

:wink:

Put it in a vase. Water it. Keep it alive. ~

|\
| @
|
| <== No Good.

@
|
|
| <== LOL! LOL!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[RonBee]

Thanks, Mike.

:wink:

 

[MikeNewYork]

Thanks, Mike.

:wink:

You're welcome, Ron. :wink: