[General] Help revising this sentence

[Lakeshia McLaurin]

While elaborating on my reasons for stress due to financial problems, the lack of support from my parents and other health related issues; I am still striving to be successful by completing my goals.

 

[Barb_D]

Despite the stress of financial, family, and health problems, I still strive to complete my goals.

(You aren't really spending much time elaborating as you are striving, are you?)