Help with format

[Anonymous]

I am writing an essay on Individualism v.s. collectivism and why individualism is better.
Thesis: individualsim is better than collectivism.
3 points: Definition of both, Evolution of individualism/ decline of collectivism, Why individualism is better in todays world.
I am having trouble making up my first paragraph of my essay can you help?

 

[RonBee]

Collectivism denies all rights to the individual and assigns all rights to the collective, or group. What is your problem with the first paragraph?

 

[Tdol]

I am writing an essay on Individualism v.s. collectivism and why individualism is better.
Thesis: individualsim is better than collectivism.
3 points: Definition of both, Evolution of individualism/ decline of collectivism, Why individualism is better in todays world.
I am having trouble making up my first paragraph of my essay can you help?

Is individualism really better? Many say that, but first of all you have to decide where you stand on the issue. What do you really believe and why. Many societies are not indiivdualist, including ones that are very successful. ;-)