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Zoe2008

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We received your payment last week for our invoice xxx and xxx. However, the amount was incorrect and there is USD2000.00 different from our invoice. Would you please double check and pay back balance to us ASAP. Here are the invoices for your reference, please contact me again if there is any problem. Thank you.
 

imanuragjain

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I am not a teacher, but here is my suggestion:
===================================
This is in reference to the Invoice number XXX and XXX raised by us. The amount paid by you on the above Inovice's is less by USD 2000.00.
Would you please check and pay the balance amount at the earliest. Please revert me for any clarifications or cofusions. The invoices are attached again for your reference.
 

Zoe2008

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I am not a teacher, but here is my suggestion:
===================================
This is in reference to the Invoice number XXX and XXX raised by us. The amount paid by you on the above Inovice's is less by USD 2000.00.
Would you please check and pay the balance amount at the earliest. Please revert me for any clarifications or cofusions. The invoices are attached again for your reference.

Hi Imanuragjain,

why to used 'raised by'?

Regards
Zoe
 

BobK

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Hold on Zoe ;-) This is a good shot, but it has a few errors.

I am not a teacher, but here is my suggestion:
===================================
This is in reference to the Invoice number XXX and XXX raised by us. The amount paid by you on the above Inovice's is less by USD 2000.00.
Would you please check and pay the balance amount at the earliest ... - "earliest" what?. Please revert me for any clarifications or confusions (Are you offering to make him more confused? ;-). The invoices are attached again for your reference.
"Raised by" is fine; you 'raise an invoice' But I see no need for the passive voice here - it just makes it harder to read (and to write!); the same goes for 'paid by you' (it's true that official documents often use the passive, to sound more detached - and so a bit threatening - but that's no reason to copy a bad habit). And I see no reason for the abstract noun phrase 'in reference to' - which just increases the Fog Index (Text Content Analyser - UsingEnglish.com - the UE text analyser is a great resource. Give yourself a pat on the back, Red5. ;-))

Why not say 'We refer to our invoices XXX and XXX. You have underpaid by £2000.00. Please check and settle in full asap, and refer back to me if anything needs clarifying. ['I attach copies of the invoices' - though maybe this is unnecessary, except to make it clear, for the record. that you sent them copies] ?

b
 

imanuragjain

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Hold on Zoe ;-) This is a good shot, but it has a few errors.


"Raised by" is fine; you 'raise an invoice' But I see no need for the passive voice here - it just makes it harder to read (and to write!); the same goes for 'paid by you' (it's true that official documents often use the passive, to sound more detached - and so a bit threatening - but that's no reason to copy a bad habit). And I see no reason for the abstract noun phrase 'in reference to' - which just increases the Fog Index (Text Content Analyser - UsingEnglish.com - the UE text analyser is a great resource. Give yourself a pat on the back, Red5. ;-))

Why not say 'We refer to our invoices XXX and XXX. You have underpaid by £2000.00. Please check and settle in full asap, and refer back to me if anything needs clarifying. ['I attach copies of the invoices' - though maybe this is unnecessary, except to make it clear, for the record. that you sent them copies] ?

b

BobK, I have few questions on above:

1) Isn't `at the earliest' much better or equally strong like asap ?
2) `Confusions' was included, becasue I expect some confusion at other end, becasue they underpaid me.
Any thoughts ?

- Anurag
 

BobK

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imanuragjain said:
...
1) Isn't `at the earliest' much better or equally strong like asap ?
2) `Confusions' was included, becasue I expect some confusion at other end, becasue they underpaid me.

Any thoughts ?

- Anurag

'at the earliest' can exist on its own, but only in contexts like 'I can meet them on Monday at the earliest' [which just means 'The earliest time when I can meet them is Monday']. To give an impression of urgency, you need to add a noun: e.g. 'at the earliest opportunity'; 'at your earliest convenience' is a commonly used phrase, but I try to restrict my use of polysyllabic abstract nouns when I'm aiming for clarity. ;-) (I also remember President Bartlett's correction in The West Wing when someone suggested the words for an official request: 'I don't care whether it's convenient, get his *ss down here.'*)

'confusion' is uncountable. There may be confusion over a number of things, but not 'confusions'.

No time for more.

[This was unnecesary - Anuraq did;-) -
If there are any matters arising, post this correspondence in the forum. I was a bit pushed for time last night!]



b
PS * I don't know if Martin Sheen's character used those exact words but that was the gist - it pointed up the possible hypocrisy of talking about "convenience" when you just want something done.
 
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susiedqq

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We received your payment last week for invoices xxx and xxx. There is still a balance due of USD 2000.00. Please pay the balance ASAP. Attached are the invoices for your reference. Please contact me again if there are any problems. Thank you.


We received your payment last week for our invoice xxx and xxx. However, the amount was incorrect - what do you mean? They paid what they paid. There is no "incorrect" payment. They did not pay the entire bill. They made a partial payment. You are just asking them to pay the balance.
 
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