Hi i need a help !

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Fatma222

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Last month you bought a new SONY camera ,but it stopped working after two weeks .
im wondering if any one could write for me its a formal letter :oops:
 

emsr2d2

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Last month you bought a new SONY camera ,but it stopped working after two weeks .
im wondering if any one could write for me its a formal letter :oops:

Please make an attempt at writing the letter first, then post it here and we will be happy to comment. :-D
 

Fatma222

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ok but would you help me if it was silly ! cuz i dont know how to write ! :roll:
 

emsr2d2

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ok but would you help me if it was silly ! cuz i dont know how to write ! :roll:

That's how this forum works. You try. We have a look and then assist! :-D
 

Fatma222

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ok sorry my first time


Dear sir ,
Last month I bought a new sony camera from virgin mega store , and after 3 weeks of not using the camera , I decided to open the camera and take some pictures for my family and friends
of course, I verified it works but Unfortunately when I tried to open it , the camera is was not working
I thought it might be due to the battery being down but after inserting new batteries, it is still not working, although I didn’t take a single picture from the camera , My family and I are very disappointed after seeing its result and facing the worst experience of our life with a branded product bought from your shop.

I hope you will consider my complaint with due seriousness it deserves and I expect you not to hesitate in exchanging this camera for a new one. I would be very thankful for a positive response after which I will bring that camera with me to your shop.

Thanking you,

Yours faithfully
 

emsr2d2

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ok sorry my first time


Dear Sir,

Last month I bought a new Sony camera from the Virgin Megastore at [address of shop]. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] Three weeks after [STRIKE]3 weeks of not using the camera [/STRIKE] I purchased it, I [STRIKE]decided to[/STRIKE] opened the [STRIKE]camera[/STRIKE] box in order to[STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] take some pictures for my family and friends.

Of course, I verified it works but unfortunately when I tried to open it, the camera
[STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] was not working. Note - there is a problem with this sentence. At the beginning it says you verified that it works - that means that you checked it worked and it did - but then you go on to say that it was not working. It can't be both. I think it would be better if you simply said "Unfortunately, when I tried the camera, I found it was not working".

I thought it might be due to the battery being [STRIKE]down[/STRIKE] low (or having run down)but after inserting new batteries, it is still not working, [STRIKE]although[/STRIKE] and I [STRIKE]didn’t take[/STRIKE] haven't been able to take a single picture [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] with the camera. My family and I are very disappointed [STRIKE]after seeing its[/STRIKE] with this result. [STRIKE]and facing the[/STRIKE] This is the worst experience of our lives with a branded product bought from your shop.

I hope you will consider my complaint with [STRIKE]due[/STRIKE] the seriousness it deserves and I [STRIKE]expect you[/STRIKE] trust that you will not [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] hesitate in exchanging this camera for a new one. I would be very [STRIKE]thankful[/STRIKE] grateful for a positive response, after which I will [STRIKE]bring that[/STRIKE] return the camera [STRIKE]with me[/STRIKE] to your shop.

Thank[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] you.

Yours faithfully

Please see my amendments above. I have kept your original structure as much as possible. I would add that I would not have written the letter in the same way, but it's important to keep your own personal style, but with correct grammar, spelling and punctuation.

Note that a comma and a full stop should go directly after a word, then a space before the next word.
 
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Fatma222

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omg thank you , but i have a question about the letter that i write is it realted to this topic Last month you bought a new SONY camera ,but it stopped working after two weeks

because i have an exam and this will be the topic
 

emsr2d2

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omg thank you , but i have a question about the letter that i write is it realted to this topic Last month you bought a new SONY camera ,but it stopped working after two weeks

because i have an exam and this will be the topic

If the topic is specifically "You bought a new Sony camera but it stopped working after two weeks" then you will have to change the letter a little. Your topic means that you bought a camera, you used it successfully for two weeks (it worked OK for two weeks) and then it stopped working! This is different to your current letter. You will need to change it to explain that you used the camera successfully after you bought it, but only for two weeks, and THEN it didn't work any more.

The main idea of the letter is the same - you are disappointed with the result and you want a new camera as compensation!
 
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