[Grammar] How can i say

[rashidjon]

Dear teachers, can i put my idea on that way?

Thanks for your help.


Today not only a lot of bussineses but also the governments rely on avertisement.
For example tourism makes one third of Czech Republics' economy. In order to promote it's attractions Czech goverment have to advertise and sell its services to foreing consumers. Only well planned and object oriented ads can bring more foreign tourists to the country.

 

[emsr2d2]

Dear teachers, can i put my idea on that way?

Thanks for your help.


Today not only a lot of bussineses but also the governments rely on avertisement.
For example tourism makes one third of Czech Republics' economy. In order to promote it's attractions Czech goverment have to advertise and sell its services to foreing consumers. Only well planned and object oriented ads can bring more foreign tourists to the country.

Please see my suggested amendments below:

These days, not only many businesses, but also governments have to rely on advertising.
For example, tourism makes up one-third of the Czech Republic's economy. In order to promote the country's attractions, the Czech government has to advertise and sell its services to foreign consumers. Only well planned and well targeted advertising will bring more foreign tourists to the country.