Hundreds of youths had been camping out to buy

Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

Hundreds of youths had been camping out to buy tickets to a new Harry Potter film. Jim, an old man, who passed by, stared at them in disbelief. "I'm glad I'm not young any more," he muttered and shuffled on.
 

GoesStation

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Write Jim, an old man passing by, ...
 

Barb_D

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Also "the" new Harry Potter film.
At the time you are writing about, there is only one.
 
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