I appreciate your profession, please correct it for me Thx

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HBjojo

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Thank you very much!!! :)
My Resume

HB Hu

Room 301 No.45, East Gui Ling Road
Shanghai, China
Mobile Phone: 13611874108 E-mail: Hbjojo9@hotmail.com

Objective

Seeking managerial position in the marketing department of producing company.

Summary of Qualifications

4 years of marketing analysis learning
Personal ability of planning, organizing, and interpersonal communicating
Computer literate: Windows XP, Microsoft Office
Native Chinese Speaker, fluent in English: speaking, writing and reading
Relevant English certificates:
1. CET-6, January 2002.
2. CET-4, June 2001.
Education

Shanghai University Shanghai, China
Post-Diploma of Shanghai University in Economics and Trade Expected June 2005
Member of Student Union from 2001 to 2002
Won top scholarship of Shanghai University in 2002

Shanghai 54th School (senior high school) Shanghai, China
Diploma received June 2000

English course taken during university
English Intermediary Interpretation, New World Language School (Shanghai), summer 2002

Experience

Assistant of Personnel Director, Shanghai QiangSheng Taxi Company, Shanghai China, Summer 2003
Gained personnel skills through working
Analysis some personnel information for my manager
Prepared for routine meetings and do recording work

My cover letter

October 16, 2004
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am so interested by the post of vice manager of marketing department you offered on today’s Chin Daily. I am studying for my BA in International Economy and Trade at Shanghai University.
Last summer, I was working as personal assistant for the personnel manager of the Shanghai QiangSheng Taxi Company as my part of my fieldwork required by the degree. In the process, when I was working through July to September, I really learned a lot of personnel skills about the relationship in working situation. Furthermore, I experienced a real improvement in my major skills of coordinating, leading and managing under many different situations. These experiences make me more interested in what I have learned and what I will learn in following semester.
My master of what I learned in school get the appreciation of Mr. Zhu, who is my direct boss. He wants me back if I am willing after my graduation. He could be reached at 648,366,34.
As a member of Students’ Union, I am so exciting of my job and several activities for students I have held. I am fluent in both Written and Spoken English. Mr. Terry Gao, our counselor, is willing to write a reference for me when required.
I am available for my interview every evening. Please contact me at 13611874108. Looking forward to receive your reply.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
HB Hu
 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Re:
  • Seeking managerial position in the marketing department of producing company.

Try:
  • Seeking managerial position in the marketing department of a production company.

Say:
  • I am interested in the post of....

:)
 

Tdol

Editor, UsingEnglish.com
Staff member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
Japan
I am so interested

Don't use'so' here- it doesn't work in formal writing. There's no need to modify things in this way- you're apllying for a job, so they know youwant it.;-)
 

RonBee

Moderator
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
What Tdol said.

:wink:
 

twostep

Senior Member
Joined
May 10, 2004
RonBee said:
What Tdol said.

:wink:

Management position in the marketing department of production company.

Summary of Qualifications

4 years of marketing analysis
planning, organization interpersonal communicating
Computer literate: Windows XP, Microsoft Office
Native Chinese Speaker, fluent in English
Relevant English certificates:
1. CET-6, January 2002.
2. CET-4, June 2001.

Education

Shanghai University Shanghai, China
Post-Diploma of Shanghai University in Economics and Trade
June 2005
Member of Student Union from 2001 to 2002
Won top scholarship of Shanghai University 2002

English Intermediary Interpretation, New World Language School (Shanghai), summer 2002

Experience

Assistant of Personnel Director, Shanghai QiangSheng Taxi Company, Shanghai China, Summer 2003

REWORD PLEASE


My cover letter

October 16, 2004
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am interested by the post of vice manager of marketing department you posted in today’s Chin Daily. I am studying for my BA in International Economy and Trade at Shanghai University.
Last summer, I worked as personal assistant for the personnel manager of the Shanghai QiangSheng Taxi Company as part of my fieldwork required for the degree. I learned about management and personnel on a hands on basis. These experiences allow me to apply my schooling to day-to-day situations and to keep on improving them.
My master of what I learned in school get the appreciation of Mr. Zhu, who is my direct boss. He wants me back if I am willing after my graduation. He could be reached at 648,366,34. - PLEASE GIVE ME SOME DETAIL
As a member of Students’ Union I have held spearheaded several activities for students.
I am available for interviews during the evenings. References will be available upon request. Please contact me at 13611874108. I am looking forward to your reply.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
HB Hu[/quote] in posted in
 

MW

Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2004
Member Type
Student or Learner
I am so interested that I did not even bother to look up your name.

Yawn - another one bites the dust - crinkle, crunch, a three pointer into the corner can.
 

twostep

Senior Member
Joined
May 10, 2004
MW said:
I am so interested that I did not even bother to look up your name.

Yawn - another one bites the dust - crinkle, crunch, a three pointer into the corner can.

Nothing like being defeated by technology. This is not quite what I had in mind. Well, let's try it again.
 
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