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cosofyou

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Narration : My memorable holiday
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Traveling usually brings me a lot of fun and pleasure. I still found wonderful things when I lost my way on the holiday at Sam Son Beach. I stayed there for two days and a night. The first day went on smoothly. I toured around that renowned landscape and visited most of fantastic places. On the second day, an unforgettable day, I got lost in that unfamiliar beauty spot. In the morning, I got up early for a walk along the beach. The sea sight was very sparkling. I could enjoy fresh air and breezes from the sea made me relax a lot. Especially, I had the chance of viewing fishermen catching fish. It was absolutely a sight for sore eyes. Muscular men was trying their best to pull fish on shore with a reliable big string. I was so absorbed in that natural scenery that I did not care about how far I had gone. It was not until fish had been caught that I realised I lost my way. Firstly, I felt realy scared. I did not know the way to get back. When I was looking around to find my way, a nice couple asked me " Are you ok ? Do you need some help ? ". My mind was at peace when they appeared. Fortunately, I remembered my hotel's name and they helped me return to it. How lucky I was ! Although I went astray on that holiday, I caught sight of fishermen's working day and met kind hearted people.I believe that everybody can find good things in bad situations.

;-) . I look forward to reading your comments
 

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Petemol

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Even though i am just a student i like to say that you did a wonderful job of describing the scenery. A nice moral too!:) Some expert might think differently though. i am just giving my opinion.;-)
 

Raymott

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Narration : My memorable holiday

Traveling usually brings me a lot of fun and pleasure. I [STRIKE]still[/STRIKE] found some wonderful things when I lost my way on my holiday at Sam Son Beach. I stayed there for two days and a night. The first day went [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] smoothly. I toured around that renowned landscape and visited [STRIKE]most of[/STRIKE] many fantastic places. On the second day, an unforgettable day, I got lost in that unfamiliar beauty spot. [Did you get lost lost twice, or are you referring to the same episode? This problem arises from the persistent use of the simple past tense only - this should improve as you learn.]
In the morning, I got up early for a walk along the beach. The sea sight was very sparkling. I could enjoy fresh air, and breezes from the sea made me relax a lot.
[The comma is necessary here, otherwise it should read "
I could enjoy fresh air and breezes from the sea, which made me relax a lot".]

Especially, I had the chance of viewing fishermen catching fish. It was absolutely a sight for sore eyes. Muscular men were trying their best to pull fish on shore with a reliable big string net [?]. I was so absorbed in that natural scenery that I did not care about how far I had gone. It was not until the fish had been caught that I realised I had lost my way.
[This is an excellent example of where to use the past perfect]
Firstly, I felt really scared. I did not know the way to get back. When I was looking around to find my way, a nice couple asked me " Are you ok ? Do you need some help ? ". My mind was at peace when they appeared. Fortunately, I remembered my hotel's name and they helped me return to it. How lucky I was ! Although I went astray on that holiday, I caught sight of the fishermen's working day and met
kind-hearted people. I believe that everybody can find good things in bad situations.


;-) . I look forward to reading your comments
This seems to be an exercise in using the simple past tense. In that respect it's quite good.
 

cosofyou

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Even though i am just a student i like to say that you did a wonderful job of describing the scenery. A nice moral too!:) Some expert might think differently though. i am just giving my opinion.;-)
So happy to hear that though I know my writing need more improvement.
Thanks a lot;-)
 

cosofyou

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This seems to be an exercise in using the simple past tense. In that respect it's quite good.
I can't say how thankful I am for your editting my writing. I have got a lot of worthy things from the day joining this web. I can enrich my knowledge of using English as well as have members revise my writing. You spent your time on my thread, which makes me happy. I hope that I will receive more your comments on my writings.
;-)
 
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