I can do better

[bosun]

I am trying to write a statment for college admission and can anybody give comments about the following sentnece?

.1... so, I think I can do better than other students in 'Business of IT' department of XX college If I am admitted.

2. I already took classes ( or learned, or studied about???) Java programming, Network OSI and Operation system structures , which senior students of your college are required to take.

3. I think no students know better than me about thease areas.

4. I am a 12th intake member of YLC( young leaders club) and I had a lot of opprotunites to make a presentation and increase my knowledge.

 

[albertino]

I am trying to write a statment for college admission and can anybody give comments about the following sentnece?

.1... so, I think I can (do better than) outperform other students in the 'Business of IT' department of XX college If I am admitted.
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2. I [already took classes ( or learned, or studied about???)] have already taken courses in Java programming, Network OSI and Operation system structures , may I know what kind of senior student your college (are required) would like to take?

3. I am convinced that (think) there will be no other students who have a better knowledge on these areas than I.

4. I am a 12th intake member of the YLC( young leaders club), where I have had many opprotunites to give presentations and enrich my knowledge.

(Mind you, I'm not a teacher)