I need help from native speakers

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Super Sonic

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Joined
Dec 25, 2006
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Student or Learner
Native Language
Turkish
Home Country
Turkey
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Turkey
Hi. Could any native speaker tell me whether the following paragraph is grammatically correct and includes the answer to the question asked? Thank you in advance.

Q: Why I would make a good employee for a work & travel job...

A: AS A STUDENT ATTENDING UNIVERSITY, I AM AWARE OF THE FACT THAT IT TAKES CERTAIN QUALIFICATIONS TO WORK IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT. SO, I AM SURE THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO SOLVE MOST, IF NOT ALL, OF THE PROBLEMS THAT I WILL FACE IN THE UNITED STATES ON MY OWN. BESIDES, I LIKE TO LIVE IN ORDER AND TO OBEY THE RULES. ALTHOUGH I AM A VERY OUTGOING AND TALKATIVE PERSON, I KNOW WHEN I SHOULD BE SILENT. I KNOW THAT A PERSON’S OPINIONS MIGHT BE DIFFERENT FROM MINE ON VARIOUS SUBJECTS AND I RESPECT THAT. AS A RESULT, I BELIEVE I WOULD MAKE A GOOD EMPLOYEE BECAUSE OF THE QUALIFICATIONS I HAVE LISTED ABOVE.

 

Anglika

No Longer With Us
Joined
Oct 19, 2006
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Other
Hi. Could any native speaker tell me whether the following paragraph is grammatically correct and includes the answer to the question asked? Thank you in advance.

Q: Why I would make a good employee for a work & travel job...

A: AS A STUDENT ATTENDING UNIVERSITY, I AM AWARE OF THE FACT THAT IT TAKES CERTAIN qualities TO WORK IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT. SO, I AM SURE THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO SOLVE MOST, IF NOT ALL, OF THE PROBLEMS THAT I WILL FACE IN THE UNITED STATES ON MY OWN. BESIDES, I LIKE TO LIVE in an orderly fashion AND TO OBEY THE RULES. ALTHOUGH I AM A VERY OUTGOING AND TALKATIVE PERSON, I KNOW WHEN I SHOULD BE SILENT. I KNOW THAT A PERSON’S OPINIONS MIGHT BE DIFFERENT FROM MINE ON VARIOUS SUBJECTS AND I RESPECT THAT. AS A RESULT, I BELIEVE I WOULD MAKE A GOOD EMPLOYEE BECAUSE OF THE QUALIFICATIONS I HAVE LISTED ABOVE.

You do not need a comma after "So". It might be better to start the sentence with "Therefore "

Apart from that and the two changes I have made, it is fine grammatically.

I think it is a little thin if you have to justify your suitability for a job involving travel.
 
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