I'm happy with it. Would you be Sir?

[boozl]

A scenario that needed an instant reply. It took me about half an hour to come up with this. A delay through on a job no fault of mine needed a quick response. Could somebody tell me the areas that need improvement?


Steve
Could I please make you aware of some potential issues that will need to be dealt with due to the start date on site being moved back yet another week. The plant room fire dampers are being dispatched and will in all probability be delivered to site (on pallets) next week. This should not prove to be much of a problem if a protected area can be provided by the main contractor for temporary storage. The main issue I have is that with the procurement of Drawing SW032/03 well underway, this ductwork may have to be delivered and stored on site in similar fashion. Finding such a large, dry and dust free, area to accommodate an articulated lorry load of ductwork could cause a problem? Could you please forward your thoughts or maybe arrange a meeting with the main contractor so we can come up with a plan of action to deal with any of these problems should one arise?


Brian

 

[kfredson]

A scenario that needed an instant reply. It took me about half an hour to come up with this. A delay through on a job no fault of mine needed a quick response. Could somebody tell me the areas that need improvement?


Steve
[STRIKE]Could I please[/STRIKE]I should like to make you aware of some potential issues that [STRIKE]will [/STRIKE] may need to be dealt with due to the start date on site being moved back yet another week. The plant room fire dampers are being dispatched and will in all probability be delivered to site (on pallets) next week. This should not prove to be much of a problem if a protected area can be provided by the main contractor for temporary storage. The main issue I have is that, [comma] with the procurement of Drawing SW032/03 well underway, this ductwork may have to be delivered and stored on site in similar fashion. Would finding such a large, dry and dust free[remove comma] area to accommodate an articulated lorry load of ductwork [STRIKE]could [/STRIKE]cause a problem? Could you please forward your thoughts or maybe arrange a meeting with the main contractor so we can come up with a plan of action to deal with any of these problems should one arise?


Brian

Perhaps others can make more substantial improvements, but I hope that these small revisions are helpful.

 

[boozl]

Perhaps others can make more substantial improvements, but I hope that these small revisions are helpful.

Thanks for taking the time and replying and if you could clear up a few points for me that would be good.


I should like to - why not would like to?

will may - I wrote will because whatever happens issues will have to be dealt with?

The commas are self explainatory as is the addition of the word would, instead of the word could, making that sentance into a direct question requiring an answer.

Thanks

 

[kfredson]

Thanks for taking the time and replying and if you could clear up a few points for me that would be good.


I should like to - why not would like to?
I'm sorry, but my old-fashioned nature came out. "Would like" is perfectly acceptable. "I should like" may be excessively formal, although I do like the polite tone.
will may - I wrote will because whatever happens issues will have to be dealt with?

The commas are self explainatory as is the addition of the word would, instead of the word could, making that sentance into a direct question requiring an answer.

Thanks

I should like to say, by the way, that I found your original post to be quite nicely written. The revisions I suggested were very minor, to be sure.