Is it correct english?

[Torben]

A short story that I posted in another forum.
Please correct or tell what you think about it.
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Back in 1999 - the day after I got my first "real" flashlight (Surefire 9p... 234 USD, + at that time 7 USD for each 123A battery in Denmark, my sister lost one of her earrings in her car and asked me if I had some kind of flashlight she could use for searching. I was proud to introduce her to my new flashlight and I expected some kind of thumbs up reaction afterwards (!) she came back half an hour later, smiling (she found her earring) and mumbling... something about "changing the old batteries"

 

[Tdol]

You don't close the brackets after 'Denmark' (I presume).

 

[susiedqq]

Back in 1999 in Denmark - the day after I got my first "real" flashlight, a Surefire 9p... 234 USD, but at that time, I used 7 USD for each 123A battery - my sister lost one of her earrings in her car and asked me if I had some kind of flashlight she could use to search for it. I was proud to introduce her to my new flashlight and I expected some kind of thumbs-up reaction afterwards. She came back a half-hour later, smiling about finding her earring, and mumbling something about "changing the old batteries."

(where did you mean to place the in Denmark? All that battery info could be shortened. It distracts from the sentence.)

 

[Torben]

All the tech-speak is important because it,s an american forum all about flashlights.
I placed the "in Denmark" to explain the sky high prices, but obviously that should have been placed in the beginning and not in the end. In danish that would have been correct.

The unclosed brackets was a simple typing mistake, sorry for that ;o)

Thanks for responding

Cheers