Is it correct?

[dilodi83]

Hi Antoinette and Michael,
how’s it going? I hope this email finds you all in good health. I’m ok. I have finally found time to write to you. I have been very busy recently. I have got some news for you. Unfortunately I didn’t get the job as flight attendant because of a problem about my height: they are always looking for people more than 1,75 meter tall and I am 1,73. I have been unlucky!! Anyway I have attended a course at a travel agency and I have studied the modern methods of booking a flight by using pc and several soft wares made for this reason and the modern methods of booking trains. Moreover I have learnt how to plan a cruise across the Mediterranean Sea and all round the Europe. But this was just a stage, so I do not have a job yet, I am still looking for it.
I’m leaving for Barcellona, Spain, in a couple of days with some friends of mine to have fun and to spend some days over there. People say that it a great and a nice town and I really hope to enjoy myself. How about you?
I hope to get news from you as soon as possible,

Affectionately,

Marco.

 

[David L.]

I've corrected the few little grammar mistakes, but your English is so good, I re-wrote it in a way to show how one native speaker (me) might phrase it instead. You just need help in colloquial expression now

Hi Antoinette and Michael,
How’s it going? I hope this email finds you all in good health. I’m going great.

To say 'OK' in written form has no tone of voice, and so can mean, I'm so-so' meaning 'a bit down' When you the go on to say you didn't get the job, it could add to the impression you are taking that badly.

I've finally found time to write - been very busy recently. I've got some news for you: I didn’t get the job as flight attendant unfortunately, because of a problem about my height - they're always looking for people more than 1,75 meter tall and I am 1,73. Just my luck, after I'd attended a course at a travel agency and (I have-omit) studied

the modern methods of booking a flight by using pc
computerized flight booking
and several soft wares made for this reason
using the latest specialist software packages
- trains too!

What's more, I've learnt how to plan a cruise around the Mediterranean and all round Europe. But this was all in the hope... So, no job yet, but still looking.

I’m leaving for Barcellona (, Spain-I think they would know where Barcellona is, so omit), in a couple of days with some friends of mine to have a bit of fun
and to spend some days over there
- this is rather impied.Why not substitute, and do a little sightseeing.) People say it's a great city and I really hope to enjoy myself. How are things going with you - I hope to hear from you as soon as you get a chance.

 

[dilodi83]

Thank you so much for your corrections!:-D

 

[dilodi83]

By the way, could you tell me how you think I could improve my English in colloquial expressions?

 

[Snowcake]

It's Barcelona, not Barcellona.

;-)

 

[RonBee]

Try:

I'm doing well.
Things are going great.
I'm fine.
Everything is wonderful.
software designed for that purpose.
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