Is the comma needed?

Tan Elaine

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A goalkeeper, who was part of the national team, Ali was playing football at the National Stadium when he jumped for the crossbar of the goalpost and hung on to it - only for the goalpost to collapse on him.

Is the comma after "goalkeeper" needed?

Thanks.
 

GoesStation

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No. It's incorrect.
 

andrewg927

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Part of the national team, goalkeeper Ali was playing football at the National Stadium when he jumped for the crossbar of the goalpost and hung on to it - only to have the goalpost collapse on him.
 

Tan Elaine

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Part of the national team, goalkeeper Ali was playing football at the National Stadium when he jumped for the crossbar of the goalpost and hung on to it - only to have the goalpost collapse on him.
Thanks, andrew. You have rephrased my sentence. Can I conclude that the original sentence is awkward?
 

andrewg927

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Yes, your original sentence was awkward and incorrect.
 

GoesStation

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To me, the only thing wrong with the original sentence was the comma after "goalkeeper".
 

Rover_KE

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It would be the crossbar that collapsed on him ... maybe a goalpost as well, but not before the crossbar gave way first.
 
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