Is the dialogue I made proper?

[sky753]

Hi everyone,
Tomorrow I will give a lesson which is to make the students learn and master some simple sentence patterns of daily greetings and introductions .I have prepared a dialogue in advance. I don't know whether it is idiomatic. The dialogue I made is as following.
(Background:Today is Mary's birthday.Tom,Mary's brother ,invites Bill Jones to attend the birthday party)
TOM:hi,Bill,how do you do?(seeing Bill go into his apartment)
Bill: hi,TOM,how do you do?(They shake hands)
TOM:Bill,may I introduce my sister Mary to you?(Mary is standing beside TOM at the moment.) This is Mary . This is Bill Jones.
Jones :Nice to meet you.Mary, happy birthday!(offer a bunch of flowers to Mary)
Mary:Nice to meet you ,too.Beautiful flowers! Thank you!(Mary takes the flowers)
I would appreciate it if you,esp native speakers, could give me some suggestions on the dialOgue. The more mistakes you can point out ,the better.
weiqun ding
Thank you very much!

 

[Tdol]

Using just a surname (Jones) is less common nowadays- try Mr Jones, or Bill.
;-)

 

[sky753]

Hi Edior,
I have corrected my dialogue.Thank you very much,but could you here suggest some wonderful sites about British or American culture and custom to me?
Weiqun ding.