is this sentence correct?

[happys82]

We carry out various activities to support students’ attention and concentration. First of all, we find out students who need attention skill development support according to the tests and teachers’ observations. After that, we try to develop students’ attention skills by attention development activities.

 

[tedtmc]

We carry out various activities to support enhance/improve students’ attention and concentration. First of all, we find out about students who need attention skills development [STRIKE]support[/STRIKE] according to [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] tests and teachers’ observations. After that, we try to develop students’ attention skills by organizing attention development activities for them

not a teacher

 

[happys82]

thanks a lot