Is this sentence correct?

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Zoe2008

Key Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Korean
Home Country
South Korea
Current Location
China
We will send our QC to perform the pre-inspection this afternoon. We shall draw some goods from your production line to be checked; please assist our QC if they need anything.
 

albertino

Senior Member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Member Type
Other
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Hong Kong
Current Location
Hong Kong
We will send our QC to perform the pre-inspection this afternoon. We shall draw some goods from your production line to be checked; please assist our QC if they need anything.
(Not a teacher)
What about " We will send our QC for the pre-inspection this afternoon, and some goods of your production line will be checked randomly. In order to facilitate the work of our QC, please render our QC the assistance as required."
 
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