Is this sentence correct?

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Vincent Chan

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"Do you want to buy something in Hong Kong but you live overseas?
We can do the shopping for you."

Thank You!!
 
C

comicer

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I'm not a teacher; but I have some suggestions:

"Do you want" sounds not so polite. I'd rather use "Would you like" or "Do you like".

I think "but you live overseas" is redundant in the sentence because the listener already knew where he/she are living.

Maybe we can add "without travelling" to highlight the point:
Would you like to buy something in Hong Kong without travelling personally?

How about "We can shop for you."?
 

RonBee

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Grammatically, those sentences are fine. As for style issues, that is something else.

Perhaps: "Do you think you might like to buy something in Hong Kong, but you don't want to have to travel to Hong Kong? We can save you a trip. We'll do the shopping for you."

:)
 

Tdol

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"Do you want to buy something in Hong Kong but live overseas?
We can do the shopping for you."

You can delete the second 'you', which sounds better to me. ;-)
 

RonBee

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"We'll do the shopping" seems somehow unfinished. How about: "We'll do the shopping, and you save money."

:?:
 
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