Letter for a university (please check it)

[jomo27]

Can anyone check my letter please?
If there are wrong things, please correct it.
THANKS!



Dear Monash,

Firstly, I'd like to introduce myself, my name is Tom and I'm 16-year old. Through this letter, I'd like to ask some questions about the Arts faculty. Actually, I'm going to take the Performing Arts faculty next year in Monash university, Clayton campus. I've heard that if we want to join the faculty, we need to get involved in an audition that will see and promote us, is it true?
If its true, what kind of audition we would have to do? However, are there any requirements beside that? I think this is enough for today, I'm waiting for your answers.


Thanks,
Tom

 

[Boadicea]

Before looking for mistakes in spelling, vocabulary etc, I would check its register: shouldn't it be a formal letter?

 

[jomo27]

Yeah, it should be a formal letter.

Please check the mistakes. THANKS!

 

[susiedqq]

Do you mean the "facility" ??

Faculty is a teaching department for a school setting.

 

[Anglika]

Dear Monash,

Firstly, I'd like to introduce myself, my name is Tom and I'm 16-year old. Through this letter, I'd like to ask some questions about the Arts faculty. Actually, I'm going to take the Performing Arts faculty next year in Monash university, Clayton campus. I've heard that if we want to join the faculty, we need to get involved in an audition that will see and promote us, is it true?
If its true, what kind of audition we would have to do? However, are there any requirements beside that? I think this is enough for today, I'm waiting for your answers.


Thanks,
Tom

As a formal letter to a university, it is far too informal.

Dear Mr xxxxx,

My name is xxxxx, and I am a 16-year old student who is [considering/thinking] about taking a course in Performing Arts at Monash University next year. I have some questions about the course and the campus that I would like to ask.

First, is it [right/correct] that applicants to this course will be asked for an audition as part of their application? If so, what form does the audition take?

Second, are there other requirements besides the audition?

Third, if I was accepted for this course, will I be expected to live on campus?

I look forward to hearing from you,

Yours sincerely,

XXXXXX [full name]

 

[jomo27]

Do you mean the "facility" ??

Faculty is a teaching department for a school setting.

Not facility, but faculty.

 

[jomo27]

As a formal letter to a university, it is far too informal.

Dear Mr xxxxx,

My name is xxxxx, and I am a 16-year old student who is [considering/thinking] about taking a course in Performing Arts at Monash University next year. I have some questions about the course and the campus that I would like to ask.

First, is it [right/correct] that applicants to this course will be asked for an audition as part of their application? If so, what form does the audition take?

Second, are there other requirements besides the audition?

Third, if I was accepted for this course, will I be expected to live on campus?

I look forward to hearing from you,

Yours sincerely,

XXXXXX [full name]

Thank you very much!

I really appriciate it.

Anglika, you always help me whenever I need it. :up:

 

[RonBee]

A suggestion:

If I am accepted for this course, will I be expected to live on campus?

​

 

[jomo27]

A suggestion:

If I am accepted for this course, will I be expected to live on campus?​

:up: