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peter123

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2007
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Arabic
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Malaysia
Current Location
Hong Kong
Hi there,
Please proofread the following sentences. The first one is the opening of a letter whilst the number 2 is the ending of the letter.


1. I am writing to request sponsorship for our school computer club which will participate in the robot basketball match in the China Technology Festival.

2. We need sponsorship of 12 robots at 6000 per robot. We hope the confirmation need 2 months before application deadline of August 12.

Thanks
pete
 

susiedqq

Key Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Member Type
Academic
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
The first sentence is OK.


We are requesting sponsorship of 12 robots at $6,000 per robot. (Is this correct - $6,000 EACH??)

We hope the confirmation need 2 months before application deadline of August 12.

This sentence is not clear. Do you want to say: Our completed application is due to the Festival officials by August 12. We need confirmation of your sponsorship 2 months before that date, by June 12.

Is this what you mean to say?
 
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