Linda huddled under the canopy

Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

Linda huddled under the canopy of an old oak, watching lightnings split the dark sky. The thunder was like explosions which made her heart race with fear.
 

GoesStation

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"Lightning" is a mass noun. It isn't used in the plural.

The second sentence isn't great. It compares the thunder with another condition, "explosions which made her heart race with fear". Do you see why that doesn't work?
 

Bassim

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Could I say like this:

The thunder sounded like explosions, making her heart race with fear.
 

GoesStation

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Could I say [strike]like[/strike] this:

The thunder sounded like explosions, making her heart race with fear.
Yes. That's exactly the kind of sentence I was looking for.
 
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