missing words

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abrilsp

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Hi :)

Are the words in bold right?

In a village on the east of Scotland, people were waiting anxiously for news. Two of their fishing-boats have been caught in the storm that had blown up during the night. In the cottages round the harbour people stood in their doors, too worried to talk.
The rest of the fishing fleet had reached the harbour before dark, and the men from these ships waited and watched with the wives and families of the missing men. Some had brought thick blankets and some flasks of hot drinks, knowing that the men must
be cold and tired. When dawn began to break over from the east, a small point of light was shinning in the darkness of the water and a few minutes later, there was a shout. Not long, the two boats were turning in, past the lighthouse, to the entrance of the harbour. The men were helped out of their boats, and although they were stiff with cold and tiredness, they were all safe.

I love happy endings!!
Many thanks,
abrilsp
 

RonBee

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Say: "Two of their fishing-boats have been caught in the storm...."
Say: "small point of light was shining" (Probably a typo)

The rest of the words in bold are okay, but there are some problems with the rest of it.

:)
 

RonBee

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abrilsp said:
Thanks Ronbee :)

You're welcome. :D

abrilsp said:
people stood in their doors

Is it possible to say "......stood at their doors"?

Yes. Or you could say stood in their doorways.

abrilsp said:
that the men must
be cold and tired.

You don't need to change that. It is fine as it is.


abrilsp said:
Not long, the

As I recall, that needs to be changed, but it is hard to tell what it should be without seeing the rest of the sentence. I can't remember it word for word.

abrilsp said:
Can we say "No long...."?

I'll comment on that one later.

abrilsp said:
Thank you very much,

abrilsp

You're welcome again.

:wink:
 
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abrilsp

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Hi,

The sentence goes "Not long, the two boats were turning in, past the lighthouse, to the entrance of the harbour."

And I wonder if we can say "No long, the two..........."

Thanks
 

RonBee

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In a village on the east of Scotland, people were waiting anxiously for news. Two of their fishing-boats have been caught in the storm that had blown up during the night. In the cottages round the harbour people stood in their doors, too worried to talk.

  • In a village in the east of Scotland, people were waiting anxiously for news of their men. Two of their fishing-boats had been caught in the storm that had arisen during the night. In the cottages round the harbour people stood in their doors, anxiously looking out to sea, too worried to talk.

I think you can use blown in (for example, had blown from the east), but I don't think blown up works for a storm.

The rest of the fishing fleet had reached the harbour before dark, and the men from these ships waited and watched with the wives and families of the missing men. Some had brought thick blankets and some flasks of hot drinks, knowing that the men must be cold and tired.

  • The rest of the fishing fleet had reached the harbour before dark, and the men from those ships waited and watched with the wives and families of the missing men. Some had brought thick blankets and some flasks of hot drinks, knowing that the men would be cold and tired.

I decided that would be would be better than must be. Don't you agree? :)

When dawn began to break over from the east, a small point of light was shining in the darkness of the water and a few minutes later, there was a shout.

That is a little bit strange, but grammatically that is okay.

Not long, the two boats were turning in, past the lighthouse, to the entrance of the harbour. The men were helped out of their boats, and although they were stiff with cold and tiredness, they were all safe.

  • Not long afterwards, the two boats turned in past the lighthouse towards the entrance of the harbour. The men were helped out of their boats, and although they were stiff with cold and tiredness, they were all safe.

There!

:D
 
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