mistake in a sentence

[whl626]

1. He entertained us with lively descriptions of his adventures in traveling and amusing stories of remarkable people who he had met abroad.
who --> whom

2. She had on the dress that I used to admire more than any in her possession - a light blue one trimmed prettily with lace.
than any --> than some

3. His face unshaven, his coat torn, and no shoes, he presented a very unkempt appearance.
no shoes --> shoeless

4. Pollution effects more people living in today's society than it did those in previous years.
effects --> affects

5. I thought that the music was good and the performers graceful; nevertheless, the concert was considerably longer than I expected it to be.
the performers graceful --> the performers were graceful

6. I returned to the room, but its appearance was changed since the days had shortened and the weather had grew cold.
grew --> grown

7. The audience, including as many senior citizens as young people, was entertained by beautiful dancing girls and boys' singing group.
boys' --> boys

8. The only event that happened during the day was another unpleasant meeting between she and the professor.
she --> her

9. As we understand it, he appears to be unreasonable anxious about finding her.
unreasonable --> unreasonably

10. If you could answer the question, " What makes a person feel lonely ?," one of the great mysteries of the human's heart would be solved.
human's --> human

I've got all the answers, but the thing is whether I put them correctly ?


Thanks in advance

 

[Casiopea]

2. She had on the dress that I used to admire more than any in her possession - a light blue one trimmed prettily with lace.
than any --> than some

'than some' doesn't work. What about 'than any other (dress) in her possession?

3. His face unshaven, his coat torn, and no shoes, he presented a very unkempt appearance.
no shoes --> shoeless

Shouldn't 'unkempt' be 'unkept'?

5. I thought that the music was good and the performers graceful; nevertheless, the concert was considerably longer than I expected it to be.
the performers graceful --> the performers were graceful

BE (i.e. were) can be omitted in that context, so I'm not sure what the error is exactly.

All the best,

 

[Francois]

Shouldn't 'unkempt' be 'unkept'?

That was the trap.

FRC

 

[Casiopea]

Shouldn't 'unkempt' be 'unkept'?

That was the trap.

FRC

:up:

 

[Natalie27]

1. He entertained us with lively descriptions of his adventures in traveling and amusing stories of remarkable people whom he had met abroad.
who --> whom

2. She had on the dress that I used to admire more than any other in her possession - a light blue one trimmed prettily with lace.
than any --> than some

3. His face unshaven, his coat torn, and no shoes, he presented a very unkempt appearance.
no shoes --> shoeless

4. Pollution affects more people living in today's society than it did in previous years.
effects --> affects

5. I thought that the music was good and the performers were graceful; nevertheless, the concert was considerably longer than I expected it to be.
the performers graceful --> the performers were graceful

6. I returned to the room, but its appearance was changed since the days had shortened and the weather had grown cold.
grew --> grown

7. The audience, including as many senior citizens as young people, was entertained by beautiful dancing girls and boys singing group.
boys' --> boys

8. The only event that happened during the day was another unpleasant meeting between her and the professor.
she --> her

9. As we understand it, he appears to be unreasonably anxious about finding her.
unreasonable --> unreasonably

10. If you could answer the question, " What makes a person feel lonely ?," one of the great mysteries of the human heart would be solved.
human's --> human

I've got all the answers, but the thing is whether I put them correctly ?


Thanks in advance

 

[wunaide]

If I might make a few comments...

1. He entertained us with lively descriptions of his adventures in traveling and amusing stories of remarkable people who he had met abroad.

COMMENT: As contemporary English is considered to be gradually losing the "whom/who" distinction, it might these days be considered pedantic in many quarters to claim that this sentence is grammatically incorrect on that basis alone.


2. She had on the dress that I used to admire more than any in her possession - a light blue one trimmed prettily with lace.

COMMENT: This sentence is not grammatically unsound. She might have borrowed the dress she had on from her sister.


3. His face unshaven, his coat torn, and no shoes, he presented a very unkempt appearance.

COMMENT: The sentence is grammatically unsound not because of anything to do with "no shoes/shoeless", but rather because it should start with the word "With...". Unkempt is an appropriate word for use here.


4. Pollution affects more people living in today's society than it did those in previous years.

COMMENT: This sentence is unsound. "Those" involves a poorly defined or even incongruous referent.


5. I thought that the music was good and the performers graceful; nevertheless, the concert was considerably longer than I expected it to be.

COMMENT: There is nothing grammatically unsound about "the performers graceful". It is a common literary device to ellipt the Finite. It might be more balanced to write "I thought the music good and the performers graceful (etc)", nevertheless an unbalanced sentence is not necessarily an ungrammatical one. There is a grammatical unsoundness after the semicolon, which should read "nevertheless, the concert was considerably longer than I had expected it to be."


6. I returned to the room, but its appearance was changed since the days had shortened and the weather had grown cold.

COMMENT: If "since" here is used in the sense of "because", the sentence could at a long stretch be considered grammatically sound if not a little absurd; however if "since" is being used in the sense of "from the time that", then "was changed" is ungrammatical, and should read either "had changed", or "had been changed".


7. The audience, including as many senior citizens as young people, was entertained by beautiful dancing girls and boys singing group.

COMMENT: Ungrammatical. Try "The audience, which included as many senior citizens as young people, was entertained by beautiful dancing girls and a boys singing group".


8. The only event that happened during the day was another unpleasant meeting between her and the professor.

COMMENT: Ungrammatical because of a severe tautology. Events happen. If it didn't happen it wouldn't be an event. Try "The only thing that happened was..." , or "The only event of the day was...".


9. As we understand it, he appears to be unreasonably anxious about finding her.

COMMENT: I'm not at all sure whether this is grammatical and find it hard to make much sense of it. "To be anxious" means "to be uneasy about something that is uncertain", but according to this sentence there is no uncertain event - she has been found. Perhaps "...he appears unreasonably anxious to find her"?.... but since when have levels of anxiety been assessed according to their degree of "reasonableness"....

Thanks.

 

[Francois]

Good points. Where are you from?

FRC

 

[wunaide]

Australia. You?

 

[Francois]

Never been down under, but everybody who did says it's a very nice place. I come from France -- nice place too.
Do you think these sentences have been written by a native-speaker?

FRC

 

[wunaide]

hello Francois,

hard to say whether or not they have been written by a native speaker...ok i'll take a punt: no.

...oh and i see I forgot about number 10 - it's not really grammatically sound either.

try:

10. If you could answer the question, " What makes a person feel lonely ?," you would be able to solve one of the great mysteries of the human heart.

 

[monica3634]

Hello,Fransois and wunaide:
I'm very glad to know you two .I was a Chinese student majoring in English before hunting a j0b.In the period of schooltime,I was so good at grammer.But now,since I went in for a job,there was not so much time for me to touch my English.I feel that my English level has been declined.Today,when I saw the grammatical discussion of you two experts,an impulse of closeness came towards me .It's a great pleasure for me to discuss the problem of grammer with you two,if you'd like to .
my E-MAIL:monica3634@hotmail.com
with great regards.
your potential friend:monica(from China)

 

[Francois]

Welcome on UsingEnglish's forums!

Grammar is a vast topic, but there are many other -- feel free to post!

FRC