my experience

[bosun]

The following is about a statement for college admission. If you see any problems, can I have your comment?

As mentioned above, I belive these sports acitivies and working as a president of club in hight school will help me to adjust to college. I promise that i will do my best if I get accepted to your school. You will never regret choosing me.

 

[Niall]

The following is about a statement for college admission. If you see any problems, can I have your comment?

As mentioned above, I believe these sports acitivies and my working as a president of a club in high school will help me to adjust to college life. I promise that I will do my best if I get accepted to your school. You will never regret choosing me.

There are some simple mistakes. I have added the word "life" to make the phrase "college life" which fits better into this sentence.
The phrase in italics "my working" uses a possessive prounoun with the gerund, which is something we often do in English.

 

[puzzle]

NiallRe: my experience
Quote:
Originally Posted by bosun
The following is about a statement for college admission. If you see any problems, can I have your comment?

As mentioned above, I believe these sports acitivies and my working as a president of a club in high school will help me to adjust to college life. I promise that I will do my best if I get accepted to your school. You will never regret choosing me.



:?:Why does "my working as a president of a club" need "a" before "president"? Can't it be omitted? Please.

 

[Niall]

It can be. And in fact, sounds better if it is.