My World

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New member
Feb 17, 2008
Member Type
Below is a poem I'm having trouble with. It is the first one I've wrote.
The first paragraph doesn't rhyme. I get stuck with the last line. If you could tell what you think of this poem, I would appreciate it. I also know my punctuation if off too.
Thanks Reggie


You think you're so cleaver
with all your little words.
There are so many nasty words
that I could say about you.

But before I say those words
to you.
I think of him standing
bright in my world.

My brother would be ashamed
of me if I said those words
to you,
because he would want me to
be better than you.
My neices and nephews would
turn their head and cry,
Cause you see its not about
those nasty words you wrote.
Its about your hate inside.

Your hate will never touch
their souls because I stand
between you and them in my world.
Whatever you do in your life
in that dark, dark world.

I'm there in their world
everyday. I sing to them,
and watch their acrobats play.
I listen to every word that
they say, and will be
there when they laugh
and play. And it will
be with me they'll come
and Stay.

When I see those little
spawns, three and four
that you so nastly spoke
of before.
I see a little red head girl
bright as the sun, dancing
in her world.
And the unborn baby
that you find so
much scorn for,
will so be loved
in my world

Your hate won't touch
us anymore, so go back
to your dark, dark world.
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