[Cover Letter] Need Help for the Motivation Letter

kaptansari

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Jun 7, 2021
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Hello everyone , I would like to get your help and advice to correct the errors in this letter. Thank you so much.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in applying for the M.Sc. program in [XXXX] at the [XXXX] starting October 2021. I do truly believe that my qualifications will fulfill the requirements of this program.

First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is [XXX]. I graduated from [XXX] in July 2020 and I have a bachelor’s degree in Electrical Electronics Engineering. I have been working in [XXX] for 10 months.

After my undergraduate education, my ambition is to get further education but due to pandemic conditions, I postponed my abroad master degree plans and found a job. Now, pandemic conditions are getting better so I strongly believe it is a correct time to take a break from my business career and get the education that I always wanted.

I chose the ‘Energy option’ as my core specialization in my undergraduate education. The courses that I took during my undergraduate education and also my final year project are completely related with these courses that will be given in this program. I would like to learn more about [XXX] and I believe this program offers best chances for me to improve myself.

In addition to my information which I have shared above, please consider my transcript and resume that I have uploaded for the application.

Thank you very much and I am looking forward to getting positive respond from you and be valuable addition in this program.

Sincerely,
 

teechar

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Hi,
1- Please use dummy names instead of XXX.
2- What is the submission deadline?
3- What is the word limit?
4- Which points/topics are you expected to cover in your letter?
 

kaptansari

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2021
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Turkish
Home Country
Turkey
Current Location
Turkey
-Deadline is end of the June.
-There is no word limit so I prepared short letter.
-I will use this motivation letter for Master degree application.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in applying for the M.Sc. program in Enginnering at the University starting October 2021. I do truly believe that my qualifications will fulfill the requirements of this program.

First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is kaptansari . I graduated from university in July 2020 and I have a bachelorÂ’s degree in Electrical Electronics Engineering. I have been working in company for 10 months.

After my undergraduate education, my ambition is to get further education but due to pandemic conditions, I postponed my abroad master degree plans and found a job. Now, pandemic conditions are getting better so I strongly believe it is a correct time to take a break from my business career and get the education that I always wanted.

I chose the ‘Energy option’ as my core specialization in my undergraduate education. The courses that I took during my undergraduate education and also my final year project are completely related with these courses that will be given in this program. I would like to learn more about engineering and I believe this program offers best chances for me to improve myself.

In addition to my information which I have shared above, please consider my transcript and resume that I have uploaded for the application.

Thank you very much and I am looking forward to getting positive respond from you and be valuable addition in this program.

Sincerely
 

emsr2d2

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Jul 28, 2009
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English Teacher
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British English
Home Country
UK
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- The deadline is end of the June.
- There is no word limit so I prepared a short letter.
- I will use this motivation letter [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] as part of my master's degree application.

Dear Sir or Madam,

[STRIKE]I am writing this letter to express my interest[/STRIKE]I am interested in applying for the M.Sc. program in Engineering, [strike]at the University[/strike] starting October 2021. I [STRIKE]do truly[/STRIKE] believe that my qualifications will fulfill the requirements of this program.

[STRIKE]First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Kaptansari.[/STRIKE]

I graduated from
[name of university] in July 2020 [strike]and I have[/strike] with a bachelor's degree in Electrical Electronics Engineering. I have been working [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at [name of company] for [STRIKE]10[/STRIKE] ten months.

[STRIKE]After my undergraduate education,[/STRIKE] Originally, my ambition [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] was to [STRIKE]get further[/STRIKE] continue my education but due to the pandemic, [STRIKE]conditions,[/STRIKE] I postponed my plan to study abroad for a master's degree [strike]plans[/strike] and found a job. Now no comma herethat the pandemic [STRIKE]conditions are[/STRIKE] situation is getting better, [STRIKE]so[/STRIKE] I strongly believe it is [STRIKE]a correct[/STRIKE] the right time to take a break from my [STRIKE]business[/STRIKE] career and get the education that I always wanted.

I chose the "Energy option" as my core specialization [STRIKE]in my[/STRIKE] as an undergraduate. [STRIKE]education.[/STRIKE] The courses that I took [STRIKE]during my undergraduate education[/STRIKE] and [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] my final year project are [STRIKE]completely[/STRIKE] closely related [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] to [STRIKE]these[/STRIKE] the courses [STRIKE]that will be given in this program[/STRIKE] offered at your university. I would like to learn more about engineering and I believe this program offers the best [STRIKE]chances[/STRIKE] chance for me to [STRIKE]improve myself[/STRIKE] further my education in this field.

[STRIKE]In addition to my information which I have shared above, please consider[/STRIKE]I have uploaded my transcript and resumé [STRIKE]that I have uploaded for the[/STRIKE] to the application website.

Thank you very much and I am looking forward to getting a positive response from you and to being a valuable addition [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] to this program.

Yours sincerely

Please note my corrections and suggested changes above. Is Kaptansari your first name or your family name? (Note that I have removed that sentence anyway, but you should use your full name.)

In reality, I wouldn't use your final sentence and would simply stick with "I look forward to hearing from you".

I don't really know what you mean by "Energy option". Was that really the name of the specialty?
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
Also,
I am writing [STRIKE]this letter[/STRIKE] to [STRIKE]express my interest in[/STRIKE] apply [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] for the M.Sc. program in ...
and
I [STRIKE]do truly[/STRIKE] believe that my qualifications [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] fulfill the requirements of this program.

Otherwise, see above.
 

kaptansari

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2021
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Turkish
Home Country
Turkey
Current Location
Turkey
I don't really know what you mean by "Energy option". Was that really the name of the specialty?

We have 7 options which are ''telecommunication , energy, automation and control etc.' and each option has different lectures which gives more specific information about that field. So, should I explain like this in motivation letter too?
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
We [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] had [STRIKE]7[/STRIKE] seven options, three of which [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] were ''Telecommunications, Energy, Automation and Control", and each option [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] involved different lectures which [STRIKE]gives[/STRIKE] gave more specific information about that field. [STRIKE]So,[/STRIKE] Should I explain [STRIKE]like[/STRIKE] this in the motivation letter too?

No, definitely not! I think you just put the quotation marks in the wrong place. Perhaps you meant:

I chose the "Energy" option.
 
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