Need help on connecting sentences... Thanks

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English dummie

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Do I need to add in the word "while" below to keep it flow smoothly?

They all went into a car, ( do u need the word "while" here?) still looking at the beautiful scenery, and drove off.

Thank you!
 

Red5

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I would use the word while there, yes. ;-)
 

RonBee

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English dummie said:
Do I need to add in the word "while" below to keep it flow smoothly?

They all went into a car, ( do u need the word "while" here?) still looking at the beautiful scenery, and drove off.

I would say got into the car, not went into the car. Also, you don't need the first comma, thus:
  • They all got into the car while still looking at the beautiful scenery, then drove off.

You don't need while if you put the adverbial phrase at the beginning of the sentence, thus:
  • Still looking at the beautiful scenery, they got into the car and drove off.

What do you think?

:)
 
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